Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Support Your Seasonal Blockbuster: 2.19

Alright, so the majority of you who vocalized your opinion of the premiere post were not so sassified with me. That's all well and good, but for now, I'm running the show, so you'll just have to put up with me for today.

I will (attempt to) talk briefly on something that I, as an anal film critic, am not generally very fond of: The Blockbuster. Not the chain of video rental stores that censors their material (yes, Blockbuster censors all the movies they rent out - now, get Netflix), but the Hollywood kind.

I have this friend that works in an extremely overpriced candy store in Manhattan. It is frequented by celebrity types, rich-ass tourists, and spoiled children truant from their private schools. They shill out color-specific bags of M&Ms at 100X the cost of buying in bulk and paying illegal immigrants to separate them into crystal bowls.

It's a lot like big production companies and their shoddy attempts to lure us back into theaters to see movies they spend hundreds of millions of dollars making and marketing and merchandising. These movies generally suck and they proliferate the idea that directors like Michael Bay are a catch, and that's just stupid. It's no wonder summer box office sales are lower than they've been in 20 years. People are catching on.

However, once in a blue moon, something great comes along and saves their sorry asses. Movies like "Batman" and the upcoming King Kong present the viewing audience with more than the incentive of making Big Hollywood a crapton of money. They are truly spectacles. They are something that needs to be seen on the big screen. And you should love them, because they are truly awesome. Most of the time, I side with the indies, but sometimes, big money = big fun. Embrace your inner geek, and find some love for the rarely spectacular seasonal blockbuster. But choose wisely, and try to never appreciate a Michael Bay movie.


Blogger LeeLoreya said...

Mr Roomie, I totally agree with your last paragraph, Spiderman 2, Sin City or and Batman Begins were exquisite. On the other hand, Kingdom of Heaven, Troy or Alexander were rather weak. Good thing to do is to start the day with a bleak, melancholic film like Mysterious Skin then step in a colorfeast like Willy Wonka. I saw the King Kong trailer though, it looks very Indiana Jones+Two Towers mix, not very convincing...
oh and apparently on the first day on the set of the Island, Ms. Johansson said "all we are supposed to do is run, run, run. By the way, did anyone read the screenplay?". Sounds promising .

1:47 PM

Blogger johnny_knucklehead said...

y'know, i don't think it's good and bad movies that have gotten worse. i think it's just that the mediocre movies have sucked recently, and that's what's bringing the ship down. generally speaking, there is usually at least half a dozen movies worth seeing each season, running the gamut from small indie to weinstein binge to sony splooge.

plus, studios are realizing the scrilla family fare brings in. so, instead of doing the logical thing by making quality family entertainment (the incredibles not with standing) and quality mature entertainment, they just try and fuse the two together and get this amalagamated horse dung like "Are We There Yet?"

11:10 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I actually worked on The Island-- and I'm sorry to say that despite the best efforts of Ms. Johansson (who is overall, a lovely woman and phenomenally talented), it will probably be panned. And deservedly so. Because I don't think anyone did read the screenplay before signing on.

2:20 AM

Blogger econoclast said...

Can't agree about Batman Begins. In fact, I came out thinking exactly what you were talking about: no wonder BO sucks, people are catching on, you really can't make a boring story good just by Bruckheimering out. Of course, my gf thought it was great. Her theory is that she likes it because she's American and grew up with this crap whereas I'm not and didn't so it doesn't resonate with me (no warm and fuzzy childhood memories).
Another reason BO sucks, BTW, is that it's returning to its more normal levels from a couple of spectacular years. Plot BO vs GNP, regress it, and you'll see what I mean (speaking of inner geeks).

6:39 PM


Post a Comment

<< Home