Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Overheard at the Urth Caffe: Episode 1.03

"I read part of it all the way through" -Samuel Goldwyn

From time to time, I like to get away to the Urth Caffe. Oh, to watch the pretty people float by...until I find a more enduringly trendy place, I will continue to go there for some of the best overheard tidbits of info. And by 'overheard tidbits of info', I mean some of the most entertainingly inane comments on various facets of this town of Tinsel. The first one connects to the quote above, but the others are just random.

"There was this one horror script that was pretty good. It's set in the Old West and it's got a bunch of demons in it or something. The synopsis was interesting."
--20-something development guy, when asked if he had 'read anything good lately'

It was funnier if you saw the confused expression on his face that this question elicited to go along with the answer.

"Seriously, who did Tara Reid fuck to get famous?"
--embittered actress-type to her friend

I dunno. But if you find out, could you please slap him silly for me?

"And do you think he'd fuck me?"
--actress' friend in response, only half-joking

If he can stand to be in the room with Tara Reid long enough to screw her, I'd bet yeah.

"Are you kidding? Botoxed women are easy to pick up. They may be rich, but you can practically see the desperation in their lack of facial expression."
--guy in suit advising male friend

Sadly, I'm gonna have to agree with this one.

"Oh my god, fagalicious is way better than fagtastic."
--two gay guys arguing about how best to turn fag into a compliment

Since I think I read 'divalicious' used last week-- probably in Variety-- I'm going to have to agree.

"Mario didn't quit because he's gay. He quit cuz Kelly Clarkson's still making bank for American Idol. The contract they make 'em sign-- you might as well just sell your soul to the devil."
--the gay guys again, describing why contestant Mario Vazquez quit American Idol

Funny thing is, I'm pretty sure the devil does work for Fox.

"He said he'd call. Why didn't he call?"

Seriously, I'm surprised women even ask this question anymore. But if you want to hear my theory, it's probably the Uggs you're wearing.

One last note about Uggs boots. Maybe no one told you, Uggs-wearer, but Los Angeles has a warm, sunny climate. Unless you live on top of Mt. Whitney or something, it will NEVER snow here. You do NOT need boots, especially fur-lined ones that cost more than I make in a week. And furthermore, that shit is not cute. ESPECIALLY with a skirt. I reserve the right to maim you if you wear Uggs and a skirt.


Post a Comment

<< Home