The Celebrity Shoppers: Episode 1.06

"A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know."
-H.L. Mencken

I recently spoke with a writer friend of mine who has the misfortune of working at a large clothing store at the Santa Monica Promenade. While the Promenade isn't the best celeb-spotting site in LA, there are a number of celeb shoppers. According to him, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they shop-- which I believe, having worked at Banana Republic back in the day. Below is his commentary on just some of actors and actresses who have passed through the doors of his shop. So here's the inside scoop on the actual disposition of some of your fave stars and starlets.

On Hilary Swank: "This was pre-Million-Dollar-Baby, but she was somehow both intense and laid-back at the same time. She was nice, but I had the feeling that she could've very easily broken her foot off in my ass at any time."

On Amber Tamblyn [title character of TV's Joan of Arcadia]: "She was sweet and shy and bought her girlfriend shoes. I made a joke about her being a sugar mama and she turned bright red (her friend thought it was funny). Overall, quite cool, super-nice and surprisingly good fashion sense."

On Tara Reid: "F***in whorebag mo********r. What a cumbucket." [See, I'm not the only one who hates her]

On Jeremy Sisto: "Maybe it's just his personality, but he seemed a little drunk and spacey. But he did manage to really rock that just-rolled-out-of-bed look."

On Jonathan Ahdout [plays Shoreh Agadashloo's son in "House of Sand and Fog" AND "24"]: "He was really well-behaved for a teenager. I saw him in the parking garage later and all I wanted to do was scream 'BEEEHHHHROOOOOZ', but I figured that would be kinda scary, so I didn't."

On Mandy Moore* & Heather Matarazzo: "I didn't recognize her [Mandy] at first. But then I saw that other girl [Heather] and recognized her and then I was like, 'hey, you're both kinda famous.' The rat-face girl [his words, not mine Heather] didn't seem like she was having a very good time, but maybe that's just her natural expression. Their taste was pretty good, though."

*Assistant Atlas note: I once had an invite to do yayo with Mandy and Ivanka Trump at Sky Bar- of course, I would've gone had I known the invitation would entail that, but I didn't, so I passed, and now must live with that every day.

On Winona Ryder: "I saw her back in her pre-Free Winona days. But I don't think she stole anything. She actually seemed kinda chirpy and cheerful-- but maybe that's because I always kind of think of her as the girl from Beetlejuice."