New Mission Statement: 3.20
A small but growing number of you have been making rumblings-- either to me privately via email [I love rumblings, btw, that's email@example.com] or in my comments [yes, that's you, rabbikubota]-- that I seem a bit listless without an evil overlord like Sloane to act as my foil and personify all that is wrong with Ho'wood. Perhaps I am. Perhaps now that I'm in a work situation that is significantly improved from my last position [further proof there is a God, even for assistants] I'm going soft on you.
Well, that's where my new mission statement comes in. I know, I know, mission statements are for corporate drones. But I'm taking the mission statement back from them. Because really, a mission statement is just that. A statement of purpose, a goal. So here now, is mine.
I, Assistant/Atlas, will say what your assistant SHOULD say. I will tell you what we could say-- if in the real world, we were allowed to talk back. I am what your assistant is thinking when he rolls his eyes. I'm the advice you're not listening to, the ideas you're passing on, and the beauty you're destroying.
I won't pretend to be the conscience you're ignoring because I know you don't have a conscience anymore.
I am the written mind of the Hollywood assistant, laid bare for all to see.
So to the system that causes us to bite our tongues, I say stuff it. Stuff it, system. I am SO done with you. You can be defeated and I'm going to do it-- or at least have fun trying. And if this sounds whiny to you, farkle your misinterpretations. Because I am so angry I could break beautiful things.
At the same time, I feel the urge to build, to nuture, to create traditions that are worthwhile, to cherish what is worth saving. I will do my best to do my duty to screw with the system and re-make it my own image.
So this, then, is my mission: to be the superhero assistant of the blogosphere.
And f*ck off if you don't accept it.
You gave me a sense of purpose. And often, a migraine.
Side note to the mission: Heckle "Hollywood Momentum" as much as possible. Why? Because, apparently, they think they're funny. If you were the least bit funny, you'd realize the ill-advisedness of having a section entitled "Tool Box". Seriously, you guys just make it too easy.