Holy crap, I MISS Variety?!? Episode 1.10

Look at that glossy waste of paper cluttering up your office or your trashcan. Daily Variety. Useful, I guess, but essentially one of the armpit pubes of journalism, right?

That's what I thought, too. But since our Variety subscription has been interrupted this week, I've discovered something that horrifies me: I miss Variety.

I yearn for the glossy pictures of surprisingly-attractive executives ankling and skedding. I miss reading about the latest cabler to add original programming. I burn with desire to know who's hanging out a production shingle, who is being promoted to VP of marketing, who is being hired to helm the latest comic book adaptation. I want to know which flicks have topped the hundred million dollar mark in just a few weeks of release. And I want to see how badly the WB has fallen in the ratings this year [the bastards deserve it for canceling Angel and keeping Charmed].

Oh, I know I could find out if I wanted to-- there are hundreds of other sources of this information out there. But I want it in bite-size articles on shiny pieces of paper, arranged so that I feel I can find out everything that's happening in the industry in just fifteen minutes of reading while on the toilet. But alas, alack! No Variety.

How will I ever survive?