Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Note to Cameron Diaz: Your Agents Hate You: 3.21

When you're a hot star, your agents are fielding offers for you on a fairly regular basis. They set the whisper prices and give the offer advice to the companies with the cash to bid for big stars. But if your agency's assistants don't like you, it's pretty easy for them to get your offers diverted to another, perhaps better and/or more appropriate, star within the agency.
Don't they, Cam?
I'm calling it the 'bait-and-switch', but if anyone knows if there is an actual term for this procedure, by all means, let me know. That's what comments are for people, to speak your mind. And hello, you can be anonymous. Just sayin'. Anyway. . .

This 'bait-and-switch' happens when agencies discover solid, lucrative, high-profile projects that they want to be involved in. Usually this happens when you make an offer for someone [or start dancing in on it with the assistants]. The assistants will often find out who else might be available if your offer isn't exactly right for the person you're offering it to or they think the actor or actress might not do it-- because they want to make sure one of their clients will get the gig. So, if they want to, your agents could divert most of a certain star's offers, as they've apparently been doing a lot lately to . The agency in question here is those sharkiest of sharks, , aka- the .

First, they diverted a hot indie offer from you, Cam, to Angelina. It was a nice, short four weeks of work on location in Vancouver for which you would've been paid, well, a lot. More than one million/week, let's just say that. And for an indie! It was a good gig and your agents sent it to Angelina.
My agents like me.

Next, I heard that they were peddling Christina Applegate as the 'cheap' version of you and Jessica Biel as the 'young' version of you.
I'm cheaper than Cam.
I'm young AND cheap.

Though I wouldn't be too worried about incipient threats to your stardom from Christina Applegate or Jessica Biel, considering their rather marginal talents [read: boobs]. But they're not the only hot blonde stars at CAA. Cameron's also got to compete with. And really, aren't Uma and Cameron like the SAME actress, except that Uma has versatility and talent? Seriously.

Even hawking watches, you're hot.

So what can poor Cameron do? Probably agency-jumping is her best bet, as that attracts the attention of the agency and gets them to scouring for offers for you. But frankly, she's got to contend with her always-rising age [already 33, and not aging well] and her reputation for being a Grade-A bitchface on set and off. Trust me when I say that while the dumbbell part of her nature may be true, the sweet girl-next-door-nature is mostly thanks to her publicists.

Which just goes to show you, that even if you're a big star, it still pays [literally] to treat the assistants like actual human beings.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's not just the assistants that are doing it. It's the agents, too. Seriously...*everyone* at CAA is extremely nasty.

1:30 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who's her agent? Lourd? Huvane?

Why would they want to push roles from her to someone w/ a lower salary?

3:03 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

CAA's notoriously bad, so whatever. I think it's funny that people there have a problem with her personality. It's not like they're the nicest people around.

4:18 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great poopage, Atlas.

5:39 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

She might have Lourd/Huvane working for her...but I think her original agent dragged her over from ICM or something (I might be wrong, though).

It's weird that they'd be selling her oud for someoen with a lower salary.

I know she's a bitch, but is she really that bad? From what I've heard from my homies at CAA, she's definitely no worse than Jolie. Weird that they'd be trying to bump Diaz while she's still able to pull 15-20.

9:11 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said... need to build a message board for us all to bitch about our employers. I'm an assistant at one of the bigger agencies (but what I really want to do is produce!) and I'd be interested in gossiping with people who will never be able to identify me.

9:13 PM

Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

I should've been more clear. Sometimes, the assistants know offers won't work because they're just too low for the star and/or material. In that case, they'll suggest someone else so that they can keep their less-than-A-list stars working. Shifting to lower-paid stars isn't what they [agents] want to do, but sometimes it's gotta be done. After all, there is a limit as to what prod. co's can and will offer stars. But, yeah, you're right, it's not something they like to do. And by the way, her agent is listed on IMDB as Nick Styne.

11:23 AM

Blogger Cardinal Biggles said...

Of course, this leads back to one of the cardinal rules of business, no matter what line: ALWAYS BE GOOD TO THE ASSISTANTS. In fact, be nicer to the assistants than the bosses. It's amazing what it will get you when an assistant likes you.

8:14 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I didn't know Cameron wasn't aging well. I thought she looked pretty hot. But maybe it's the lighting and the make up. I don't normally post about how hot starss are but I never heard any one say anything negative about how old she looks before. Hmmm...

1:34 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

She isnt aging well at all. We just did a photo shoot with her and the guys doing re-touch almost gave UP she was so haggard and ill looking.

9:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, well here's another side of the 'bait and switch' scam. Let's say you have an - okay to good - script. So you "attach" a Cam Diaz to get it read, optioned, etc. Then at the last minute you sub someone in for Cam.... she can't make the dates for some reason.

3:11 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I assume that all you guys in here are agents' assistants.
I have a question for you guys.. I moved out here recently from NYC where I was repped by a small boutique agency, did some episodic supporting work, and off broadway plays. I used to intern for production companies during school in NYC and yes, I laughed out loud when I found this site b/c i feel your pain. Anywyz, LA is obviously a different animal, and if an actor wanted to be repped by a younger assistant, like you guys, how would I get your info, as you aren't listed in the Hollywood Rep Directory? Totally off the topic, but any words of advice??

12:59 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Two things Cameron and Uma have in common: 1. Marginal (at best) acting abilitiy; 2. Stone-cold OOGLAYNESS, though at least Cameron used to be cute.

12:32 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cameron is a GREAT actress!

11:58 PM

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

I never liked Cameron Diaz, she is not hot, she is skinny and tall, I dont see why people put her as a hot chick when she is not.
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