Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Project Greenlight Revisited: 1.31

Here's what we learned this week on Project Greenlight:

Matt, Ben and Chris all like director Gulager, who on this episode is gigglier than a Japanese schoolgirl meeting Brad Pitt, because the rough cuts of "Feast" are impressive.

Chris can be a scary, psychotic, whiny baby if pushed to it.

The crazy-looking assistant of the producer guys [Joel Soisson and the other guy whose name eludes me at the moment] sucks. You should've hired Atlas. He'd never give away any extra info or invite people to a screening for a movie that's had all of three days of postproduction.

Superwhoreface Michelle Gertz [blonde casting director] was back to get a peek at the film. Hey guess what-- the reviews are in and everyone likes the movie except for the fact that your little galpal Navi was in it. Way to screw up, Michelle, and way to do it so backhandedly and so publicly.

For those not in the business of making movies, you should know that every editor I have ever met acts almost exactly like the editor is depicted on the show. That same blandly relaxed, socially awkward persona is shared by all editors, regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, sexuality or shoe size. It's eerie, actually, if you think about it.

Harvey Weinstein is God. Bow before him, BOW! When the Harvey calls, you will obey his every desire. You will placate the Harvey by giving him whatever he wants. You must worship the Harvey with every action you take. You must love and fear the Harvey-- but mostly you must fear him. The Harvey will be watching. . .

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