Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Gay Celebrity Guide Update!: 2.33

Scared of risking the wrath of either the New Gay Mafia or Old Gay Mafia with an errant flip of the "that's so gay" line? Be on your toes, assistants, when around the potential eggshells of the latest, greatest addition to the world of cultural landmines since Latin-Hispa-Chicos.

To avoid any Ryan-Seacrest-humping scandal, Assistant/Atlas presents this helpful update to the Gay Celebrity Guide I presented not too long ago. Really, I can't believe I left some of these people out. But hey, that's what updates are for, right?

First up:

Via Perez Hilton's interview with Michael Musto:
Perez: You have been known to out many celebrities, most recently Luther Vandross, may he rest in peace in his bedazzled blazer. We hate blind items. Tell us what heartthrob is secretly a homo, besides Hayden Christensen.
Musto: Oh, right, like there's someone I haven't already written about because I'm saving it for a 20 Questions interview!
Perez: What's the most expensive item in your closet?
Musto: Hayden Christensen.
(see, this is why gay men make the best gossip columnists)

Next on the watch list:

Obviously, there's no way to validate this one, but they say:
The Justin is indeed bi. I know because a few years ago he had a fling with a friend of mine. This was pre-Britney. We didn't believe it, but our friend called JT on his cell and we muted it and secretly listened in on the conversation. It was him. They discussed sex. Case closed. It may have been a one time thing, and maybe Timberlake is solely straight now. Entirely possible. But I know for a fact that he's slept with a man before. Period.
via Gossiplist

Oh, also, I took a lot of flack on adding Jake "Brokeback Bottom" Gyllenhaal to the list, so here's some fun quotes from him. You know how I like to f*ck with you all from time to time.

"Every man goes through a period of thinking they're attracted to another guy." Jake, to the Calgary Sun. Erm, I guess. . . although that's uncomfortably forthright.

"We were talking about the kissing in the movie just recently. Clearly, it's pretty challenging material, but Ang said two men herding sheep was far more sexual than two men having sex on screen." Jake at a "Day After Tomorrow" press junket about "Brokeback"

"He (Heath Ledger) grabs me and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me, and then I grab him and I slam him up against the wall and I kiss him. We were doing take after take after take. I got the shit beat out of me. ... We had other scenes where we fought each other and I wasn't hurting as badly as I did after that one." to Us Weekly, on upcoming film "Brokeback Mountain"

I'm not saying he's gay. I'm just saying he bottoms for Heath Ledger.

Hey, is that assistant job you've got not working out? Well, if you're a dude who's willing to have sex for money, then Brian Austin Green wants to talk to you!

Brian, I'd start with Craigslist. Just a thought.
Via Gossiplist

Remember, this information is to be used only for your protection from the Ho'wood Gay Mafia. Although, frankly, I would probably sleep with Justin Timberlake. . .provided he brought his beard.

Did Atlas just call me a beard?


Anonymous Anonymous said...

A/A you are going to call down a holy parade of lawyers on your ass. But you made my party a hit by simply captioning that Cameron Diaz photograph.

12:22 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL. Love the Camron D pic. She has been looking RUFF lately.

And Hayden is just a little too greasy for my taste. yick.

8:31 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is Cameron Diaz gay?

12:22 PM

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