Breaking News: The Apocalypse Is Nigh!: 2.29
The first seal was the contract on Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
The second seal was their sizzling meeting on the set.
The third was the heady mixture of sweat & gunplay under the camera lights.
The fourth seal was broken in the consummation of their carnal desire.
The fifth was the pictures of Brad & Maddox on the four-wheeler.
The sixth was a return to the African love jungle that spawned their love for the adoption of Jolie's prophetically-named Zahara Marley.
Now, the seventh seal. . . Brad Pitt has contracted some sort of African "flu" and remains in Cedars-Sinai. I fear even the best celebrity doctors in the world can't stop the inevitable wrath of God for the creation of a Super-Sexual African Eden with Brangelina as the celebrity Adam & Eve.
Pictures of Brad Pitt and the horrible, scarring diseases sure to plague us all are coming soon!
This is Brad Pitt, sower of disease and discord. Who let his loins be charmed by Angelina's exotic ways. Now he suffers the wrath of the all-important flu!
It better not be like the German version of herpes.
More Breaking News! I'm an a$$hole! I was just informed by Ardustry Entertainment Director of Development Joseph LeFavi HIMSELF, that I spelled his name wrong in my "Executive of the Week--Season Two" post. Apparently, there's no space between the "Le" and "Favi". My bad.
I was also informed that Joe is, in fact, "not little", but a "solid 5'10" with brown hair, hazel eyes, and a humungous... office" and enjoys "writing, Chinese food, strolls through the park, and fireside cuddling." What a catch, eh ladies?
In other news, I'm definitely starting a development exec dating service. Between Ryan Colucci and Joe, we'd be big pimpin'.