Suck It Sloane, I have TESTIMONIALS: 2.40

Recently, it has come to my attention that I have been downsized/fired/quit. (see post below-- you might want to do that first, actually, it's quite important. Simply scroll down past the picture of Topher Grace, then Kathy Griffin and then begin reading "How Blogging Saved My Career". Thanks!)

During the conversation that resulted in my firing, I was accused of being a horrible, horrible person with absolutely no redeeming qualities, except possibly for my "hot assistant c*ck".

Well you know what? These people think I have redeeming qualities. They say nice things about me-- and some of them have significantly more Ho'wood clout than Sloane. (well, okay, a few of them)

John Rogers, writer for The Cosby Show, screenwriter of The Core and the upcoming Michael Bay-helmed Transformers:
"You sir, amuse the sh*t out of me."
AND
"Global Frequency cracked the top 10 links on Technorati today, or so they tell me as I was tour-guiding newbies around the nerd prom. No doubt thanks to the recent pimpage from the excellent Assistant/Atlas, who peels back Hollywood's rancid onion layers from the assistant's point of view -- I am now haunted by the idea that when I call someone, it is he who is answering."

Comedienne Kathy Griffin said:
"Well, I have to say, you're doing God's work," as she checked out my package.

Tiffany A. Stone of Breakfast at Tiffany's writes:
"Your blog has come along very nicely. Hope you will do a guest blog for me someday soon. . . Anyway, your blog has become one of my favorites. Cheers, Tiffany"
And you can find that guest blog right here.

Michael K of D-Listed says:
"I read your blog and I absolutely love it! It's very rare that I read blogs, I usually just sort through the pictures. But I decided to read one of your entries and then one led me to another and another. It's hilarious and I hope you get a book deal out of this sh*t. It would make for a really hot TV show. I'm already seeing Topher Grace as Atlas."

Topher doesn't need the work, butFreddie Prinze, Jr. is desperate for a hit show!

Gwenn Stroman of Flower Films (that's Drew Barrymore's company for you starf*ckers) penned this:
Dear Assistant/Atlas,
I just arrived home from a yummy dinner, thinking my day could not have been better. How wrong I was! My stepmother, who lives in Northern California, forwarded your link to me. Pretty random. [she'd discovered she's the first-ever Executive of the Week]
I want to thank you for the wonderful honor. Nobody ever says anything nice about anybody anymore, certainly not behind their back! I feel very proud. (Not to mention grateful to have someplace to write nice things
about myself in an anonymous format...)
Bragging rights are so hard to come by, I'm in! I promise to do my best to live up to this important title.
Respectfully,
Gratefully,
Shamelessly,
Gwenn Stroman

Tech-savvy actress Jessica Mae Stover chimes in:
Nice site. Accordingly, I will reward you with some Ninja respect.
Use it wisely.
Awesomely,
~Jessica Mae Stover

Ryan Colucci of Snoot Entertainment wrote me he was:
". . . compelled to go through and read all of your posts. Good stuff. Your boss sucks, huh? I don't think I'd be able to talk down to someone without breaking out into a laugh." Hey, Ryan, need an assistant?

Then there's Disney's Jesus Di Sica, whom I don't know at all, but sent this:
Atlas, What up, brother? Thanks for all the hard work you put into entertaining us with yo’ blawg!
If you will be in town Sunday* night, you are welcome to drop by my b-day party at 9pm at the Spider Room above Avalon (feel free to bring friends). *please note: this was from awhile ago, there's no b-day party at the Spider Room Sunday that is sponsored or condoned by Assistant Atlas. But I do like drinking and am happy to accept further invitations. Thanks, Jesus.

Grace of "Life According to Princess Grace" commented:
"That was great, when I read this, I spit my water all over my keyboard. Luckily, I just gave my two weeks notice and I don't give a sh*t about their piece of sh*t HP keyboard."
I must admit that I appreciate this comment so much more now.

A random email writer named Mike:
"Hi. I'm a reformed, ex-agent trainee. It's been some years since I worked in Hollywood, but I decided to do
some googling to see if things have changed there. It seems to be pretty much the same. I wanted to make in
that business with a passion, until I realized that the most sociopathic people become the most successful. That business kind of reminds me of the scene in "Animal House", where members of the snob fraternity are bending over in their underwear, getting paddled while shouting, "Thank you sir, may I please have another". Seems to be that many of the more well-adjusted people are the ones who pack their bags and head back to Kansas. Would have been nice if sane people ran the film biz."

You know, sometimes, you just need a little validation.
Feel free to add to your own validation to my comments section.

And please, to the West Coast Media Establishment please don't Jolie in NYC me. At least not until my screenplay's done. It's coming along quite nicely now that I'm unemployed and angry, though. But remember, if you pursue this story, it could lead to widespread discrimination against Chad-Michael-Murray-looking assistants at all the big agencies. And us assistant types are beleaguered enough, even those of us who vaguely resemble a "One Tree Hill" star.


Thanks, Kathy! [*wink*]