Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Do I Have the Power to Affect IMDB?: 3.22

Sorry I didn't post this earlier today, but for some reason every time I tried to login to blogger, my Safari window just disappeared. Stupid technology. Anyhoo. . .

I was checking IMDB yesterday and who should show up on the StarMeter [at #8 no less] but . Weird, because just last week, JTT was in the Whisper Price Game. There hasn't been any real JTT news that would cause his ranking to spike so precipitously [he's up from #591]. The StarMeter, for those not in the know, ranks every person on IMDB [for those really not in the know, IMDB is the Internet Movie DataBase at www.imdb.com] based on what people on IMDB are searching for and clicking on.

I even did some checking on the Internets, and it doesn't appear that there has been any significant JTT news, aside from his recent 24th birthday, in the past several months. So I started thinking-- does my blog have the power to affect IMDB? Or at least, their StarMeter rankings? Probably not, right? I mean, his upsurge had to be a result of his b-day stuff, right? Maybe.

The more I thought about it, the more I reasoned that I might, in fact, be able to influence IMDB. After all, who are the people doing most of the serious searching on IMDB? The assistants. And who makes up the biggest part of my audience? Again, the assistants. Coincidence? Perhaps. But there's more evidence. IMDB weights those people doing searches who have IMDB Pro accounts much more than those who don't. And again, the people using IMDB Pro are most likely to be assistants.

So what's the point? The point is that assistants have more power than you might think. I may not be able to affect IMDB alone, but if my hundreds of assistant readers all collectively wonder what the heck ole Jonathan Taylor Thomas is up to, well, then, he rockets to #8 on the StarMeter, for no other reason than us.

So maybe it's time for a new slogan: Assistant/Atlas-- resurrecting failed careers, one child actor at a time. Nah. I think I'll keep my current slogan: Assistant/Atlas-- tearing Tinsel Town a new one. Wait, that's taken? Dammit. By the way, did anyone else notice David Spade mocking Ryan Seacrest's star on his promos for his new show? And he didn't even give me a shout-out. Well, I guess I can take comfort in the fact that David Spade's career died with Chris Farley. And lest there be confusion, that joke was aimed at David Spade. I would never malign the memory of a funnyman as distinguished as Chris Farley, may he rest in peace.

You're welcome, JTT. You can thank me after you get some work.

11 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

whoa whoa.

don't become too self-important.

you'll have to start writing for hollywood momentum.

8:57 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's funny. I'm an assistant and after reading the past entry on your blog went and looked up JTT on IMDb (using IMDb Pro of course).

11:31 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously, dude, that's funny. It probably wouldn't take much to boost people's StarMeters, though, so I think it's entirely possible WE did it. [count me in on IMDB Pro and looking up JTT, which is funny, but I bet most people did it just for kicks]

1:13 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should start a new game for us. Pick a failing former child star every week and we'll all hit IMDb Pro and see if we can boost his/her ranking.

May I suggest Mayim Balik for next time around?

6:14 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

like to see u acting like david spade (probably a wimp u r)

12:56 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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1:52 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is this hottie actor???

4:06 PM

 
Anonymous tienda erotica said...

This can't truly have success, I suppose so.

11:57 PM

 
Anonymous transex roma said...

Quite helpful piece of writing, thanks so much for your post.

1:11 AM

 
Blogger Thomas Rimmer said...

As long as we're boosting people's profiles without them actually deserving it, how about boosting mine?!
http://www.imdb.me/thomasrimmer

Just a thought.
I can't even remember the last time I saw JTT in anything. Oh well, hakuna matata!
Tom :-)

7:23 PM

 

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