Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

In Defense of Sienna Miller: 3.33

The ravishing beauty that is has taken a lot of unjust slings and arrows in the press. Sienna is on my list of top 5 blondes I wish I could do, in between Kelly Carlson of Nip/Tuck and Anna Faris. . . mmm, in between Kelly Carlson and Anna Faris. . .uh, what? Oh yeah, Sienna Miller.

Okay, so she boned Daniel Craig? First off, at least she had the decency to cheat on Jude with someone famous, instead of the nanny. If there's one thing we've learned from Brangelina it's that celebrity couple homewreckers are only okay when celebrities are the only ones who are hurt. If you hurt regular people, you hurt your case in the court of public opinion. Jude violated that law in the worst way, boinking the woman who was paid to take care of his kids. Sienna's alleged tryst with Craig did no such thing.

Sienna - 1, Jude - 0

Was there a convincing reason spun by the publicists for Jude's affair? No. With Sienna, it's the well-worn, but in this case quite plausible, "crying on someone's shoulder" excuse.

Sienna - 2, Jude - 0

Jude has a small wee-wee and everyone on the planet knows it.

Sienna - 3, Jude - 0

If Sienna did have an affair while in that weird, just-found-out-you're-boinking-the-nanny phase, well, that part of the relationship is not bound by the same codes, rules and traditions that have supposedly guided the relationship to that point. So you can't get mad, Jude, you douche bag.

Sienna - 4, Jude - 0

Guess who wins in the court of public opinion? By a score of 4 to nuthin', it's Sienna.

Lovely, lovely Sienna.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on, Atlas, I'm surprised you haven't put it together. The Daniel Craig PR feint is a ruse to get him the final bit of publicity he needs to be the "Blond Bond".

Personally, I think he's the worst choice of the names bandied about, but that's me. Just you watch, it'll turn out to be Craig.

8:14 PM

 
Blogger Grubber said...

I heard that Jude and Sienna were on a break......well that's Jude's story apparently.

8:32 PM

 
Anonymous Enrique said...

This morning on KROQ they said it was LAW that dumped Miller... which I thought was ballsy considering he's the screw-up.

Atlas... it's only top-notch journalism like yours that can professionally pull off the word "wee wee" :P

10:15 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw. Leave Jude alone. You just come off sounding jealous.

Sienna was nothing before she started dating Jude.

6:42 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it ok to hate someone who is beautiful? Hate can be funny sometimes. This guy made it kind of funny anyways

11:01 PM

 

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