Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

What Have We Learned This Year?

Here are just some of the things I've learned in this action-packed year. And what a rollercoaster was, eh folks? Here we go. . .

Jeff Zucker has, without a doubt, made a deal with the Devil. How else do you explain the fact that he got promoted after NBC imploded on his watch? It's either that, or karma is one slowass biyotch.

When Scientology attacks, watch out. Celebrities lost to crazy Scientology behavior in 2005 include Katie Holmes, Danny Masterson, and Beck. And I don't care how much KCRW plays it, I don't think "Guero" or "Guerolito" are that great, especially coming from Beck. And I say that as a hardcore Beck fan. Frankly, Beck, I was expecting more from you. Perhaps believing in something as silly as Xenu has warped your musical sensibilities. And I don't care if my comments light up over this either. I'm pissed. L. Ron Hubbard is catching some major sheet from me next year.

In the predictions category, I would like to state that I think Wilmer Valderrama is most likely to be a Scientology convert in 2006. I'm calling it now.

Spies on TV=Cool.
Real-Life Government Spying On What I Get From Netflix=Not Cool.
Seriously, people, scary. By the way, this is the same president who thinks that bombing the most influential Arabic-language broadcaster in the world might be a good idea. Just think of what might happen to the Weinsteins if the Patriot Act's renewed.

The Chad Michael Murray avatar is liked by all.
Well, not Sophia Bush.

Assistant/Atlas on the other hand, inspires decidedly mixed reviews. If you just stumbled here looking for hot pics or something (and boy do I seem to get quite a few of those) you can find them here at a Socialite's Life.

This year was a great reinforcement of the maxim: no matter what we as an industry put out movie-wise, some stuff will bomb. It's just a given of the movie industry that some people (entertainment reporters in particular) will forget this from time to time. This year, horror had good margins, the tentpoles performed according to expectations, and a few comedies broke out to make boatloads of cash. It wasn't a great year for sensitive dramas and biopics (the probably-profitable "Walk the Line" excluded). Of course, smart development execs will realize that this means absolutely nothing for next year.

Also, I think we've realized that it is far, far better to embrace technology and figure out ways to make money from it (like TV has selling "Lost" through iTunes) than to try and squelch its development (shutting down Napster didn't stop music piracy). In fact, as a matter of principle, I always attempt to pirate Sony music. Also, click that link if you haven't heard about what those ginormous a-holes at Sony did with some of their music CDs. Basically, their antipiracy program made all your base belong to them. And if you tried to fix it, their repair system left in a whole mess 'o programs hackers could use to (really and truly and I am serious about this one) TAKE OVER YOUR COMPUTER AND USE IT FOR EVIL. So let's remember, if you want to fight evil, pirate Sony music.

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Anonymous Enrique said...

I'm afraid I'm gonna have to say "nay" on the Wilmer Valderama prediction... I'm not saying scientology is racist, but have you seen any scientologist who ISN'T white?

10:43 AM


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