Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Who Smokes In This Room?: 4.05

Who smokes in this room? That's the question of the day, kids.

When it's asked at you, it can be a discomforting question. The boss lady did this to me the other day, wrinkling her nose when I hung my head and copped to it. Fortunately, I had just saved everyone's collective a$$ with my amazing assistant superpowers, so she didn't complain further. I have a feeling I probably might've caught more flack had this not been the case.

When you're wondering who smokes in this room, who you might share a quick smoke break with, it can be aggravating.
You? No, too clean-cut.
You? Naw, too old.
You? You're pretty hot and, oh, you're pregnant. Dammit.

Look, I'm not exactly proud of the fact that I smoke cigarettes. But I'm still resting on my pride from the fact that I don't blow an eightball every weekend. So put that in your proverbial crack pipe.

But sometimes, especially during big meetings, all I can think about is having a smoke. Frankly, I blame the Beat Generation. I mean, when you're 18 and angry and someone tells you that society sucks and that drug experimentation and smoking are cool-- you listen. Even if that someone is a book.

So next time you're thinking about reading, take my advice-- stick to Jane Austen novels.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's all so true...

I like to say, never trust anybody in Hollywood who doesn't smoke (not counting quitters)... if you're in that kind of stressful environment and you're not driven to smoking - you are not human.

10:50 PM

Blogger writebrother said...

I stick to the wacky tobacky.

12:29 PM

Anonymous Chad said...

Anon - I completely agree with you!! Never trust a non-smoker!! (Then again, i'm trying to quit...)

I would always deny it when asked. "Did you just smoke?" "Uh, no. I was standing outside with a bunch of smokers. You know those grips..."

I got a question for you... do you have any idea where to find job leads? It seems like when I was in casting I had jobs being thrown at me. Now that I've quit it's a desert. I'm thinking about killing a writers assistant.

6:30 PM


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