Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Downsizing Dance of Death and Rebirth: 5.05

Someone in my office got downsized today. For all of us except (I'm guessing) the Big Bosses, it was a shock. Our lil outfit seems to be getting busier by the day, and it seemed we'd been expanding. But lo and behold, they let "Gloria" go. Gloria is in her early 40s, a failed actress, and apparently not productive enough to be a production assistant slash archivist/tape librarian.

And suddenly, my little conflict with Ken takes on a whole new importance. Because now I'm thinking that if the idiots keep running things like they are, I may be out of a job.

And all because giant corporations couldn't figure out what their customers wanted if had a billion focus groups shoved up their a$$.

You see, the entire concept of downsizing (thanks, globalization!) enables the typical giant corporation to frighten the bejesus out of employees, forcing them to rethink any demands for increased wages.

That includes me.

Because now I'm worried that my little part of the Hollywood universe may experience further cutbacks. Which may mean me.

And yet....

I almost welcome them, these cutbacks. Why? Because they trim the fat. Which is not to say that Gloria is fat, because she's friggin' skinny. It's just that someone half her age could do her job better and be content with the crappy salary they're paying.

Which is problematic for Gloria. But it may not be problematic for me.

You see, since I do the work of perhaps five lesser (paid) men, I'm in a good position to not be laid off. After all, if I'm gone, then who would actually do the work? Because someone has to.

But I talked to Gloria today. The printer broke down, and I leaned up near her desk: "So that's probably karma knocking out the printer," I said.

Gloria smiled. She appreciated the effort. Gloria: "Yeah, I know, right?" She's blushing. I smile at her.

Gloria: "It's just like, I had no idea with everything I was doing. I didn't think they could afford to get rid of me. But I guess they had to. I mean, they really did make it feel like it wasn't my fault."

Atlas: "It wasn't!"

Gloria: "I know. I was good to hear that."

Atlas: "Yeah."

Gloria: "You know what, though? It's like, it's the kick in the pants I need to get out of here, you know? Because I can get a better job-- at least one that pays more."

I can't help but grin.

Atlas: "I'm glad you think of it that way."

Gloria: "Well, you know...what am I gonna do?"


The conclusion: I'm not afraid of competition. Are you?



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Atlas, I just hope you never get found out and downsized youself. But good luck!

6:36 PM

Anonymous smartass said...

bosses tend to think of assistants as highly replaceable. luckily for us, that means that we are highly placeable too. ;-)

10:00 PM

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10:11 AM

Blogger Michael Steven said...

I agree with you, this situation is problematic for Gloria, Thanks for share this post is so interesting...

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10:15 AM


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