Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Treating Assistants Badly Is Especially Dumb When They're Not Assistants: 5.46

I was treated to a lovely story today at work by the person I had been trying to get fired.

Obviously, I have been unsuccessful thus far, so take that previous post there with that major caveat. You see, unfortunately, I've discovered that Chief Priestess is better connected in the biz than I'd suspected. And this makes it just about impossible to get her fired.

Fortunately, I did take my own advice and not push too hard for her ouster, so I've been able to fake my way to an improved relationship with her.


This Chief Priestess of my company, an easily flustered Shih-Tzu of a woman, treated us assistants to a lovely story. She'd recently been to an industry luncheon at which she'd been seated next to another woman, who was a bit older than her (we're talking 40s vs. 50s here).

The Chief Priestess will be played by Emma Thompson, who does a mean 'fluttery' in my opinion.

Other Lady doesn't get a high-profile actress since she's unlikely to reappear for reasons that are about to become obvious.
Since they'd been randomly forced to sit next to each other, Chief Priestess logically figured it would be a good idea to at least attempt small talk with Other Lady rather than sit through an interminably long silent luncheon.

They'd only briefly met before, just long enough for Chief Priestess to mention for whom she works-- Big Boss, aka- Biggie. Obviously, Biggie will be played by a just-risen-from-the-grave Biggie Smalls.

Oh, Biggie, did they ever find your killers?

Anyway, almost from the start, the Other Lady began treating the Chief Priestess dismissively. Granted, I think Chief Priestess is a raging cuntyface to work with, but most everyone thinks she's nice at first. So she started in with the "So what do you do?" riff that's pretty common at these affairs.

And immediately, Other Lady gets huffy. Isn't that her name right there on her seating placard?

"Well, yes," acknowledges Chief Priestess, "but begging your pardon, I don't quite recognize your name."

Another huff. "Well," she says, "I've been working in this business for more than two decades.**"

"Oh I'm sorry," Chief Priestess apologizes, "I guess I just wasn't aware."

"Look," says Other Lady, going in for the dismissive kill, "I've known Biggie forever. I've been through hundreds of his assistants."

"Well I'm not his assistant."

And then, after a quick question about Chief Priestess' actual occupation, lo and behold, Other Lady's attitude completely changed. She apologized for having 'jetlag', became slavishly nice, and started schmoozing to the gills.

Too late, Other Lady, but you're just as transparent as the biggest a-holes of the business.

And Chief Priestess was on to her, as she told us after she'd gathered all of us assistants upon her return. That includes, of course, your faithful Assistant/Atlas, who had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. Because your faithful Atlas and his lovely readers know the story behind these words. Chief Priestess has realized her weakness among the assistants who hold her in low regard, the ones I was poisoning against her in my attempt to give her the boot. Telling a story about other people treating assistants badly and her (sort of) sticking up for them is carefully calculated to boost her support. Well played, Chief Priestess.

**For 'more than two decades' in the industry, Other Lady had a woefully tiny (and crappy) IMDB profile.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

BORING! Shark jumper!

1:59 PM

Blogger Peggy Archer said...

Isn't that sad? Unfortunately, I think assholishness isn't confined to the film industry - it's just magnified here.

Hope you have a happy T-day, Atlas!

You and I have been through a lot in the past couple of years, haven't we?

8:49 PM


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