Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Friday, May 20, 2005

Classic Sloane Moment: Episode 1.41

I got to the office a little late this morning. As I raced in, spilling coffee all over myself, I noticed Maggie wasn't at the front desk as usual. Fortunately, Sloane was playing on his computer and didn't really notice my tardiness, and Bubbles has the day off. But just as I was getting settled, he approached.

SLOANE: Atlas, could you check the answering machine-- I don't think it's working. [Sloane refuses to answer a phone-- Ever]

ATLAS: Okay, where's Maggie?

SLOANE: She's at the doctor. [remember, our receptionist Maggie is pregnant]

So I check the answering machine. I actually check the plugs before I realize that it just isn't turned on.

ATLAS: It's working fine.

SLOANE: Oh, good, how many messages do we have? The phone was ringing off the hook.

ATLAS: Ringing off the hook?

SLOANE: Yeah, I had to unplug the phone in my office it was ringing so much.

[I turn pale thinking about all the people who might've called]

ATLAS: Ohhh...

SLOANE: What, Atlas?

ATLAS: We didn't get any messages.

SLOANE: All those calls and nobody left a message?

ATLAS: Um, they couldn't. The answering machine wasn't on.

SLOANE: So what does that mean?

ATLAS: Um, that every time someone called, the phone just kept ringing until they hung up.

SLOANE: Atlas, what the hell were you thinking? Why didn't you turn on the answering machine?

ATLAS: I'm sorry. I thought Bubbles [our intern] did it.

SLOANE: Bubbles, why would Bubbles do it?

ATLAS: Because I asked her to-- since I wasn't the last one in the office last night and we were waiting for that call from _____ ______.

SLOANE: Oh, well, she must've forgotten.

[my mouth drops open as I realize they are sleeping together-- Sloane is NEVER forgiving]

SLOANE: Why don't you just call all of the people we're waiting to hear from to make sure they didn't call us?

ATLAS: But-- [that's like 75 people! Most of whom are hard to get a hold of anyway!] . . .sure.

So I guess what I'm doing all day today.... All because Sloane's member distracted our easily-distracted intern from doing the one thing I needed her to do. I really hope they give each other STDs.


Blogger Jason B. said...

You can count on one or both of them already having HPV if it's any consolation.

12:51 PM

Blogger Peggy Archer said...

It totally does not surprise me that he's banging the annoying intern.

I wonder if that means he'll promote her, or fire her when they stop sleeping together?

10:45 AM


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