Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Friday, May 20, 2005

The Whisper Price Game: 1.42

If you're looking for info on the "Poop on Ryan Seacrest's Star Contest", please look down a couple posts.

I’ve had to disable the anonymous comment feature for the time being. Sorry, but if you’re good, I’ll re-enable it to allow anonymous posting on my NEW FEATURE! That’s right. Now aren’t you angry at those nasty spammers? You’ll notice that I haven’t yet cleaned up all their comments. If you’re a hacker with a need to splice some spammer, or a tech-savvy anti-spam government official and want to take a crack at ‘em, I promise to help in a totally anonymous tipster way.

But, Atlas, what’s the new feature!?!

It’s the WHISPER PRICE GAME! That’s right. You guess the whisper price of the young stars and starlets Atlas tosses out for you, you hungry wolf pack public. Guess right and you will receive the accolades of the adoring blogosphere. Guess wrong and you'll be publicly spanked [a cyber-spanking, of course].

For those of you who are so out of the square that you don’t understand the term ‘whisper price’, a short primer follows. The whisper price is essentially, the quietly-spoken understood of how much money you’ll have to have to offer a star to get them in your picture. Actual negotiations of prices can vary, though. Which is a problem with whisper prices. See, there are other factors in play on certain movies– I won’t enumerate them– I’ll let your brains do that.

Fortunately, the whisper price of stars is highly fun to guess at! What should Lindsay Lohan get? Top stars can have the de facto whisper price, in 2005 dollars, of 25 million per film– Cameron, Brad, Angelina. The megastars with the proven track record. So what about little, overexposed Lindsay Lohan? What’s her whisper price? According to Atlas sources, which in this case was a newspaper article that I’ll have to look up again, Lindsay gets $7.5 million per movie. That’s her base pay, which would constitute her whisper price. Now of course, there are situations where Lindsay might work for less– and you might have to pay her more if the role were especially crappy. [cough, Herbie franchise, cough]

But what about, say, Hilary Duff? Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t do movies that might possibly have Hilary Duff in them. But I’d guess she’d hope for 5 mil, especially since she knows Lindsay gets 7.5 mil. But I’m pretty sure her agent would read anything that might promise 2 mil. Which would put her whisper price right at 2.5-3 mil. But the fun thing about the game is that while you're guessing you can make nasty comments like "Normally she would get 3 mil, but if she wants her sister in the movie, she only gets 2. And no, the other million does not go to Haylie. It goes to advertising to overcome the public's Duff aversion." Like that. But, you know, funny.

Remember, you only get to comment on this new game if you’re a registered actual person because of the evil spammers.

By the way, does anyone else in the industry think public whisper prices are long overdue? I, for one, am tired of doing the amazing legwork behind putting an entire deal together. That’s why it’s so hard to get good material going, don’t you all realize? That’s why Hollywood produces safe crap. It’s so much easier. I, for one, feel bad about this. Anyone else?

More Whisper Price game is coming...if you're good and CLICK ON MY ADS. Seriously. I've gotta make fifty bucks so I can hand out that Ryan Seacrest prize if somebody wins. I'm at like, $12.32.

But let's start the Whisper Price Game with two of my personal favorites:

Seann William Scott and the soon-to-be-overexposed Jessica Alba.

So guess away-- and remember that the range goes from 'scale' [bare minimum] to 25 mil.

13 Comments:

Blogger Jason B. said...

SWS: 2.5 for more of the same old homoerotic crap he's been doing for the last five years. He'll 100K to play Dan Savage in the "Savage Love" movie.

12:44 PM

 
Blogger 20/20 Blog Master said...

Sweet! I love this game. I'm betting Seann gets 3 mil for any/all stoner characters, but just 1.5 for ones who are mostly sober. Jessica Alba gets 4 mil-- but only 1 mil if she remains fully-clothed or has to 'act'.

1:24 PM

 
Blogger POPEalicious said...

Alba: $750K

SWS: $450K

5:54 PM

 
Blogger london cokehead said...

Whisper , Jude Law to play Scarlett O'hara in new version of Gone with the wind !!!! .... £1.35 pence ...

3:00 AM

 
Blogger just another fish in the sea said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:16 AM

 
Blogger cinekat said...

Scott:$300K - infinitely replaceable
Alba:$1Mio if she manages a juicy hook-up or sex scandal a la Angelina

5:45 AM

 
Blogger Jason B. said...

Wow, I really overestimated SWS... I'm ashamed.

11:20 AM

 
Blogger POPEalicious said...

what do we win again? a piece of dookie from ryan seacrest's star?

5:04 PM

 
Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

Pope, you win a cybersmack in the face. Now shut up or say something funny-- oh wait, was that what you were trying to do? Oh, SNAP! And don't even try for a comeback-- cuz I can just delete it! OH! How you like that, huh? Yo werewolf's so fat that the entire island on Lost is actually contained within his teats.

5:10 PM

 
Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

Sorry...it's the drugs....

5:11 PM

 
Blogger POPEalicious said...

Atlas, yo dookie's so stank ryan seacrest wants to put a piece of YOU on Kathy Griffin's star

what you say? hold up...yo, your boss right behind you, Atlas....SIKE!

Ooh! Made u flinch, fool!

5:42 PM

 
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