Assistant Atlas Asstastic Executive of the Week!
That's right, kids, it's the evil doppelganger of the Assistant/Atlas Executive of the Week. I know "Asstastic Exec of the Week" wasn't one of the choices, but when I hit upon it, I knew it was the one.
For the first, but certainly not the last, Asstastic Executive of the Week I think MUST GO to the man himself, Michael Eisner. Yes, Michael Eisner, you took a company that was a modest animation/movie/entertainment studio, a symbol for pure, heartfelt, child-like emotion [and yes, paranoid xenophobic nationalism] and turned it into a monstrous corporate beast that devours the souls of employees and customers alike [without totally getting rid of the paranoid xenophobic nationalism].
You are evil incarnate to me, Michael Eisner.
And for the record, no, I haven't read the infamous book on the Mouse House or work there. I don't need to. With Michael Eisner, the results of his Asstasticity are apparent. Disney used to mean something to me-- something wholesome and nice-- that brought me joy. And I think once, it meant something to many people in my generation. But for me, no longer does the sheer thought of Disney inspire joy. True, part of that loss is growing up. Yes, part of it is the changing nature of the entertainment industry. But part of it is Michael Eisner. Worse than profligate debt spending or the inheritance of an inadequate health care system, Michael Eisner has destroyed a huge chunk of my generation's pure joy.
For that, Michael Eisner, you were chosen as the first-ever Assistant/Atlas Asstastic Executive of the Week. Congratulations, schmuck! May you rot in Hell next to Bambi's mother.