Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Slang and Cool New Terms Edition: 1.46

I love the English language. One of the main reasons is because it’s so open to slang. It’s gonna be the global language because it’s so damn fun, not because the US is the remaining global superpower. Certainly not for that reason.

Truly, let’s thank Britain, India, Canada, Australia, South Africa, Ireland, New Zealand, Jamaica and many others for their contributions to making English THE global language. Population-wise English looks to be an official language of literally billions of people now. But unlike Chinese, it’s a billion people all over the planet. You can call Kenya and it’s crystal clear because you’d both be all about speaking English. Of course, the person on the other end of the phone probably speaks English and about four other languages, unlike you. But that doesn’t matter, because everyone is going to speak English soon! Yay!
But English needs to be constantly reinvigorated if it’s going to stay on top. Let’s take a look at some problem areas.

We need a new word for ‘hack’ in the computer-y sense. It has lost its cachet. I nominate “splice” to replace it in hipster vocab. I just like the way it sounds better. Splice. Say it. Splice. Sweet, right?

What’s the word for ‘cool’ now? Can it not be ‘hot’? Because I’d rather go back to ‘tubular’.

Anyone know any cool foreign words that can be used to replace the following– [obscure languages like Danish, Uzbek and Bantu preferred]– “hella”, “greed” [which doesn’t sound evil anymore], “duh” and “whatever”?

This divisive “soda” vs. “pop” issue needs to be settled. I say we just have Coke pay us all to refer to it only as that, kind of like everyone calls them Kleenex instead of ‘tissues’.

“Red state” and “blue state” divisions should return to their original formulations– “idiots” and “pansies”.

So let's work together-- it's our language, let's make sure it remains the super-duper-sweetest language on the whole planet.


Blogger Moi said...

"The super-duper-sweetest language on the whole planet" <--- C'mon!

The main reason why English has became the "world" planet is because it is REALLY easy to learn. Believe me, IT IS.

Is English open to slang? True.. but not as Spanish, specially Mexican and Argentinian spanish.

English is a good language for song-writing but not for poetry or literature. You have only one way to say things, dude! Against romance languages (languages derivated from Latin like Frech, Spanish, Italian,etc) Try to learn one of these languages and you'll see what I'm talking about!

So, in conclusion, the only good things about English are that it is an easy language to learn and that it is really good for song-writing. Its sound is not beautiful at all (Compare a conversation in English with a conversation in French, Spanish or Italian)(But don't worry, it is more beautiful than german,lol).

It is so American to think that all of your stuff is the "best"...

7:31 PM

Blogger Moi said...

"The main reason why English has became the "world" planet" <-- Sorry, I meant "the world language"

7:33 PM

Blogger Moi said...

By the way... Spanish is really taking place in the US so maybe you'll have to share the "super-duper-sweetest" first place.

7:34 PM

Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

For the record, je peut parler francais y yo hablo espanol tambien. Granted, I'm not totally fluent, but I wanted that out there. But actually, the real reason everything American is 'best' is because we know how to take a joke. Heard of a joke, Moi? Cuz that post, not meant to be a serious discussion on language.

10:46 AM

Blogger Moi said...

D'accord, d'accord...Maybe I took it too seriously but it's because I can't joke about lenguages, I think it's a very serious topic and, as an spanish proverb says, "Entre broma y broma la verdad se asoma" which would be something like "In every joke there's a bit of a personal truth". Anyway, any language is better than other.
I'm glad to know that you can speak French and Spanish 'cause as far as I know by my personal experience, it also is "so american" to speak only one language, English of course. (I know, I know that the rest of the world is supposed to speak English but it is just for the pleasure of being "culturalized" that natural English speakers should learn another language).

Ok, sorry for almost writing the Bible here, I'm going now.

PS: I like your blog.

4:51 PM

Blogger Moi said...

PS: Sorry for my grammar/vocabulary mistakes

4:53 PM

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