Hail Alias! Episode 1.48

"First of all, my name isn't Michael Vaughn..."

Best thing about watching JJ Abrams shows: you rarely see it coming. And with three hours of Lost and Alias on last night, it was a twist-a-minute night for me. Geeky Roommate declared: "That ending [of Alias's fourth season] totally redeemed the entire season for me."

The hour-long drama, picked up early for its fifth season, was slated to start filming in July. Jen would be about four-and-a-half months pregnant by then. You might be able to hide that for an episode or two– even four or five with JJ’s writing– but if you stick to the current schedule of filming that will be totally impossible to get away with. So let's check out the options.

The one ABC appears to be going with is filming as much as possible before Jen gets too pregnant, hopefully getting enough episodes to keep the show going through the fall. Then, after taking a break for Jen to pop out Bennifer II, Jr., and get back in shape, they'll be back to film the rest of the episodes in time for the spring. What did this mean for the show?

It probably means they aren't going to make Sydney Bristow pregnant. Of course, this being a JJ Abrams show, you never know. Second, Sydney will probably fall into a coma and/or be gravely injured and hospitalized at some point before mid-season. Comas are the time-honored way of keeping a character around, but not having them actually do anything [Cordelia on Angel, anyone?]. Unfortunately, since Jen is the star, you can keep her in a coma for no more than an episode or two. Nadia [Mia Maestro, who I've discovered is much prettier in the Motorcycle Diaries] will be cured of her current 28-Days-After-Rimbaldi state by then, so she can provide the hot chick quotient while Syd's incapacitated.

Also look for more undercover missions in non-clubs, in places like conservative Middle Eastern countries, icy climates and nunneries. The fifth-season episodes will probably start Sydney-centric to use her while they can, then watch for more on the other characters. But since this is Alias, I'm prepared for some more obscure pregnancy-hiding ploys:

--Sydney is struck with a bizarro, lingering stomach disease that explains her new belly-pouch. And then she guest-spots on House to get it cured.
--Sydney does actually get pregnant, but miscarriages so she doesn't become superspy Mom. Added bonus of this option is that pregnant Jennifer Garner will probably be even more emotional over a potential baby loss.
--The new, evil Vaughn impregnates her with cryogenically-frozen Rimbaldi sperm and Sydney gets an abortion to stop his evil plan.
--Sydney gets shot in the stomach and must be bandaged around her midsection to help hide the tummy.
--Sydney is trapped in Ethiopia during a sudden famine, and finds herself with the bloated belly of the impossibly-hungry.