Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

How Not to Be a Suited Idiot on a Film Set: 2.02

As promised, here's a guest blog! This one is by Peggy Archer, the saucy minx who runs "Totally Unauthorized", which you'll find in my links list. Peggy has helpfully provided this guide to not pissing off the woebegone crew members on your local movie/commercial/tv set.

By Peggy Archer

Welcome to our happy little film set! Ignore the swearing and dirty jokes - the crew are really nice folks, but we do have a generally misunderstood job to do, and you can make it much harder for us if you don't pay attention. Normally when "tourists" or "suits" are on set we roll our eyes and groan, but if you just remember the following things, we'll love you forever:

1. Never set any liquid on an HMI ballast - they're the square silver things in the photo, and what they are is a computerized control system for that big huge light. Unless you're the producer, I'll bet they cost more than your car, and spilled liquid will ruin them. Don't sit on them, either. You'll get the ass rot.


2. Please, please, PLEASE pay attention to what's going on around you. Film sets are dark (especially if they're on a stage), and confusing- and as you can see from the photo, there's all kinds of cable and construction waste on the ground. People are also in a hurry and rushing while they're carrying hot, heavy and/or pointy things. If you're not paying attention, you could be seriously injured. Don't wear open toed shoes or flip flops, either. 3/4 " drywall screws have ways of finding your toes.

3. If you take a picture and are using the flash on your camera, please say "Flashing" loudly - before you take the picture. A camera flash looks exactly like a light bulb blowing out, and if the electricians see the flash of white light and don't know that's what it is, they'll go batty trying to find the blown out globe when it was your camera. This is funny, but very, very mean.

4. When the AD says "Quiet" - this means you. "Quiet" does NOT mean 'continue your conversation in a whisper'. "Quiet" means shut up while we're rolling. The microphones that are used can pick up a whispered conversation from a surprisingly long way away.

6. If you see crew running in and out of a doorway, please don't block that doorway while you have a conversation. We might accidentally hit you in the back with something pointy. On a related note, the phrase "Watch your back" means move right now. If you're in a doorway and you hear the phrase "Watch your back", move AWAY from the doorway. Do not attempt to go back through it. Remember, pointy object = pain.

7. Whomever's carrying the heavier load gets right of way. If I'm carrying a 40 lb light, and you're carrying a 10 oz. cell phone or two sheets of paper - You are the one who needs to yield. I don't care who you are. Neither does my spine.

8. When craft service puts food out, let the folks who've been there longer get to the food first.

9. We are happy to answer questions and chit chat when we're not busy. If we are busy (and you can tell), please let us work. We get yelled at if we don't.

10. Ladders are for climbing, not for setting drinks on.

11. If you ask really nicely, the grips might let you sit on an apple box (but know that it can be taken from you at any time), but NEVER EVER for any reason sit or stand on camera cases.

12. Don't stand in front of a light. Feel that heat on your back? It means you're casting a shadow onto the set. Don't walk in front of a light, either. On a related note.. if you can look into the camera lens, you're in the shot.

13. If folks are working over your head, you might want to move. We try not to drop things, but accidents do happen. If a crew member asks you to move, please do so immediately and don't argue.

14. If you don't know what something is, don't touch it.
14a. Don't plug anything in ANYWHERE without asking first. DC power (which some stages still have) will do a number on your cell phone charger, and if you didn't ask before plugging it in, we'll laugh at you.

15. Please don't wear perfume. Even air conditioned sets are hotter than hell under the lights, and you wouldn't believe how bad your "Obsession" smells after it's been hanging in the air for a while and has bred with someone else's "Opium". Speaking of bad smells, if you have to fart, please step off the set - off the stage if you can. Thanks.

Now, see, if we all just follow the rules Peggy won't have to donkeypunch you in the nutsack/vagina. And I won't have to encourage her to do it.


Blogger london cokehead said...

That's a properly cool post , I love learning shit I don't know !!

12:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

One more thing, if you're an agency suit, please assemble your thirty, black clad collegues and play your games of yahtze/uno/battleship away from the prop furniture. If fact, back at your office would be a great place....

12:03 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

A few other tips:

1. If you hear someone yell "Points!" It means you need to *immediately* watch out, less you get stabbed in the face with something likely made of steel and fully capable of ruining your day. It is a subtle variation of the "Watch your back!" phrase.

2. The camera dolly is not a toy. Do not assume you can sit on it (even when it's not being used) unless you have the expressed written permission of the dolly grip. Speaking of dollies, if you happen to see dolly tracks on set: STAY AWAY FROM THEM. Do not naively assume you possess the necessary skill or grace to successfully maneuver in or around them. Dolly tracks are often positioned off the ground using wooden wedges or blocks, and if you happen to accidentally kick or bump into one, it can throw the whole thing off kilter thereby ruining the shot (or in extreme instances, causing the dolly to fall off the track). In the event that you do knock one of the wooden wedges/blocks out: DO NOT PUT IT BACK YOURSELF--instead, find the dolly grip, explain what happened, and apologize profusely.

3. In addition to lights, reflective units are also used to light the set and you should not stand in front of them either. These reflective units include bounce boards, which look like big white squares of thin styrofoam; shiny boards, which look like big silver squares; and mirror boards which as their namesake suggests are big square mirrors. Since these units do not output heat, it is not as easy to realize if you are in the way.

4. If a jib is being used on set you need to be extra careful and really pay attention. A jib is a piece of equipment that looks like the smaller brother of a crane. It's basically an arm with a camera on one end and weights at the other. Jib arms can range in length anywhere from 6 feet to 30+ feet, and they have a special talent for clotheslining people. If you visit a lot of sets that use jibs, chances are that one day you're gonna run into one...literally (and probably head first). When (not 'if') this happens, do not start yelling at the jib operator. Your injury was not their fault. You should have been paying closer attention to your surroundings instead of walking around looking downwards while talking on your phone.

5. Regarding #14a. Learn this rule, know this rule, live this rule. Power is a tightly regulated commodity on set and generally everyone wants some. The electric dept is tasked with making sure the power is safely balanced and goes where it *needs* to go first. Just because you brought your new Mac laptop to set and happened to spot a squarish steel box on the floor with an empty outlet on it doesn't mean you can go ahead and plug into it. When there are a lot of lights on set, even the smallest electrical devices can become the straw that breaks the camel's back and causes a breaker to blow.

5a. While we're on the topic of electricity: if you get the OK from the electrics to plug into an outlet, but then discover you need an extension cord, simply ask for one. Never take anything off a cart without asking. Although you might be trying to make electrics job easier by not bothering them, they *need* to know where every piece of their equipment is.

6. If you visit a set where they are shooting on real film and you decide to go check out the monitor, do not make the idiotic comment that "this doesn't look very good". What you are looking at is a video tap--a very very rough approximation of the image. In this case, what you see is NOT what you get. The finished (processed) image will undoubtedly look a million times better then what you're seeing on that video screen; so save your visual critique for later.

7. The grips probably won't give you an apple box (on general principle) but feel free to ask anyways.

12:52 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

This phenomenomChina Wholesale is typified by mobile phonethe rise ofbusiness. Incredible range of products available with “Low Price and High Quality” not only reaches directly to their target clients worldwide but also ensures that cheap cell phones wholesale from China means margins you cannot find elsewhere and cell phonesChina Wholesale will skyroket your profits.cosplay costumes
cheap cell phones
cheap cocktail dresses
Cheap Wedding Dresses
cheap jewelry

6:13 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I’m a Wholesale Polo Shirts huge fan of Fiber Gourmet pasta’s; Cheap Ed Hardy clothingthey taste great and Air Max Chaussures are healthy not only for you but your entire family. Polo shirtThere’s really no difference in the taste between thisTn Requin pasta and your standard pasta, Chaussures Sport InI couldn’t tell the difference, Polo shirtneither could any member of my family including my picky children.Chaussures puma It’s nice to know that even while dieting and watching my calorie intake there Chaussures Nikeis an alternative out there that allows me to eat the pasta I want, Wholesale Polo Shirtswholesale polo shirtsNIKE AIR RIFT,NIKE requin tn Livraison 24H Shox R4,when I want without the guilt.

6:13 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Air Jordan Shoes
Wholesale NFL Jerseys
MBT shoes
nike tn requin chaussures
puma chaussures hommes
tn chaussures
nike tn
ed hardy clothing
ed hardy clothing
chaussures tn
Remise Sports Chaussures
tn requin
NFL Jerseys

6:13 PM

Blogger cui said...

Tennis Racquet Shop

Cheap Polo Shirts

The North Face Jackets

Cheap Nike Shoes

Nike Air Rift

chaussures puma

polo shirts

cheap nike shox

jeans diesel

Tn Requin

Tennis Racquet

ed hardy

cheap ugg boots

Cheap Polo

cheap shoes

6:41 PM

Blogger Jimmy Wang said...

ball valves
butterfly valves
check valves
sanitary fittings

street lighting
street lamps
street lights
solar street lights
street light

6:17 PM

Anonymous cheap nike shox said...

sport shoes shop
cheap nike air,,
cheap nike shox
cheap nike max
cheap puma shoes
cheap nike shoes
puma shoes
nike sports shoes
nike air force
cheap sport shoes
nike shox torch
puma cat
puma future cat ,,
nike shox r4
nike shox nz
jordan women shoes .
nike running shoes .
nike tn dollar.
ferrari shoes .
air jordan shoes .
nike air max tn .
jordan shoes .
cheap puma shoes .
nike air max .
nike women shoes .
cheap puma ferrari shoes .
nike shox rival..
nike men shoes.
nike air max 360..
nike air max 2010
nike air max 2009 .
nike air max 90.
ed hardy clothing us..
ed hardy clothing.
ed hardy clothes.
ed hardy ugg boots.
ed hardy wear.
ed hardy polo shirts.
ed hardy love kills slowly.
ed hardy love kills slowly boots.
ed hardy love kills slowly shoes.
ed hardy love kills slowly shirts
ed hardy trousers.

7:19 PM

Anonymous ed hardy clothing said...

ed hardy love kills slowly boots.
ed hardy love kills slowly shoes.
ed hardy love kills slowly shirts
ed hardy trousers.
ed hardy jackets.
ed hardy women’s t shirts.
ed hardy boots.
ed hardy womens shirts.
ed hardy outerwear.
christian audigier jackets .
ed hardy womens jeans.
ed hardy handbags.
ed hardy winter boots..
ed hardy t shirts.
christian audigier hoodies.
ed hardy mens jeans.
ed hardy mens shoes.
ed hardy womens hoodies.
cheap ed hardy.
cheap ed hardy clothing
ed hardy clothes
ed hardy wholesale.
ed hardy clothing
ed hardy outerwear
ed hardy t shirts.
ed hardy long sleeve.
ed hardy hoodies.
ed hardy men’s.
ed hardy women’s.
ed hardy shoes.. ..
ed hardy kid .
ed hardy jeans….
ed hardy wholesale.
ed hardy handbags
ed hardy pants.
christian audiger t shirts.
christian audigier hoodies.
christian audigier shirts,.,

7:22 PM

Anonymous cheap ed hardy said...

cheap ed hardy clothing ,.,.
ed hardy t shirts,.,.
ed hardy shirts,.,.,.,
ed hardy online store,.
ed hardy womens.,.
ed hardy mens.,.
ed hardy bags.,.
ed hardy boots.,.
ed hardy shoes.
ed hardy men’s jeans.
ed hardy women’s jackets..,.
ed hardy men’s shirts.
ed hardy women’s handbags,.
christian audiger long sleeve,.
ed hardy wholesale,.
ed hardy christian audigier,.
christian audigier shirts,.
ed hardy women’s long sleeve,.
ed hardy outerwear,.,.
ed hardy jacket,.
ed hardy swimwear,.
christian audigier hoodies ,.
wholesale ed hardy shirts.
ed hardy shirts for men,.
ed hardy shirts cheap ,.
ed hardy t shirts for women,.
ed hardy clothing
cheap ed hardy,.
ed hardy online store,.
ed hardy clothes,.
discount ed hardy,.
cheap ed hardy,.
ed hardy uk,.
cheap ed hardy shirts.
cheap ed hardy hoodies.,.,.
ed hardy long sleeve.
ed hardy men’s,..

7:24 PM

Anonymous ed hardy clothes said...

ed hardy clothing
cheap ed hardy,.
ed hardy online store,.
ed hardy clothes,.
discount ed hardy,.
cheap ed hardy,.
ed hardy uk,.
cheap ed hardy shirts.
cheap ed hardy hoodies.,.,.
ed hardy long sleeve.
ed hardy men’s,..
ed hardy women’s,.
ed hardy hoodies for men,.
ed hardy men’s shoes,.
ed hardy boots,.,.
ed hardy snow boots,.,.,
ed hardy winter boots,.,.,
ed hardy kid’s,.,.
ed hardy hoodies
ed hardy sunglasses,.,.
ed hardy handbags,.,.,
ed hardy wallets,.,.,.
ed hardy swimwear
discount ed hardy shirts,.
cheap ed hardy shirts.
ed hardy t shirts.,.,.
ed hardy long sleeve.
ed hardy men’s,..
ed hardy women’s,.
ed hardy outerwear,.
ed hardy shoes,.
ed hardy boots,.,.
ed hardy snow boots,.,.,
ed hardy winter boots,.,.,
ed hardy kid’s,.,.
ed hardy hoodies
ed hardy jackets.,.,.,
ed hardy sunglasses,.,.
ed hardy handbags,.,.,
ed hardy wallets,.,.,.
ed hardy swimwear,.,.

7:27 PM

Anonymous Chaussures Sport said...

Remise Chaussures Sport
Chaussure de Sports
Marques Chaussures Sport
2010 Air Max Chaussures
Nike Shox R4
nike tn requin
nike max tn
nike tn
tn requin
Chaussures Sport
Nike chaussures hommes
Nike chaussures femmes
Nike chaussures enfants
Nike chaussures sport
nike femmes chaussures
chaussure nike tn requin
chaussure nike air max
chaussure nike tn
nike tn

7:30 PM

Blogger vibramfivefingers said...

Those articles are very useful. Thanks so much for sharing. I can be very good reader&listener if you are same searching for all to be good. Appreciate for your time! If you intererted in Vibram Shoes , you can have a look on our website.

12:16 AM

Blogger vibramfivefingers said...

When you head of something you never touch before, do you have an eager to have a try? I think we all have a heart full of inquisitive minds to meet them. We try once, we can know the real thing it is and we will get more. Nice post! Thank you for sharing the meaningful. Vibram Shoes , you can have a look on our website.

12:20 AM

Blogger abercrombiefitch said...

the iconic sneaker was originally introduced on now.
Nike Air Max 2011
Nike Air Max Shoes
Nike Air Max
Nike Air Max Wildwood Supreme
Nike Air Max Turbulence
Nike Air Max Skyline
Nike Air Max Goadome
Nike Air Max Fitsole
Nike Air Max Zenyth
Nike Air Max Boots
Nike Air Max Zoom Kobe
Nike Air Max Tn
Nike Air Max LTD
Nike Air Max Presto
Nike Air Max BW
Nike Air Max 24 7
Nike Air Max 2010
Nike Air Max 2011
Nike Air Max 2009
Nike Air Max 95
Nike Air Max 91
Nike Air Max 87
Nike Air Max 180
Nike Air Max Griffey Max 1
Nike Air Max 90
Nike Air Max 1
Abercrombie and Fitch London
Abercrombie & Fitch Clothes
Vibram Shoes
Cheap Air Max
Nike Air Max Shoes
is available in a vivid array of colors, including, Jiffy Black, Pigeon Grey, Shell White, Dodger Blue, and Beaver Brown.

5:42 AM

Blogger Darin said...

Cheap Ugg Uk is commonly a Christian louboutin sale discount shoe. Louboutin Heels can disregard the existence in the style world, World-famous red-colored soles and Ugg Uk Sale are shaped features. You can by Moncler Outlet Online the beautiful Moncler Outlet Online and Moncler Outlet at our Moncler Online Shop. New Best Hair Straightener from our finest locks Straightener on the Chi Hair Straightene anything you have to produce Babyliss Hair Straightener that great bohemian style.

2:27 AM

Blogger UGG Outlet said...

The cheap New UGG Classic Tall Boots features lavish twin-faced sheepskin for the utmost comfort. Precision craftsmanship is evident in the Classic Short reinforced heel and raw seams. Enjoy your shopping on UGG Outlet.

ugg australia uk show more products detail information.

7:13 PM

Blogger Beautiful fashion said...

While using development of individuals years, Moncler jacket Shopstand within the latest style again.The Discount Moncler Clothes Womens Long belt Down Coat Purple are a handful of factor out within the regular and when you uncover a jacket that matches you along with your style,you are able to be cozy while using freezing winter even while,searching trendy too. Moncler Online Womens Long belt Down Coat Purple consists of 90% whitened duck lower with fur collar, features navy color,slim type,decorative belt,mid-length and general sleeve.This jacket is going to be ideal for your personality making your personal character, show your beauty before your buddies! Every lady really wants to get to be the most charming person whatsoever occasions,particularly in the cold days.I Quickly think they are able to choose these fashion Women Moncler Jackets. These Cheap Moncler Outlet Online are made most abundant in popular elements will make you filled with style.

11:30 PM

Blogger ugg outlet said...

However, we have seen several conditions have arisen covering the trademark with the Ugg Boot and for a little

while the trademark Ugg Boots

was owned by way of the Deckers Outdoor Corporation in Australia and due to their also

holding additional international trademarks amongst the product people were competent to limit the term??s used

in Australia and because of this we were looking at able to successful sue other Ugg outlet Store (Koolaburra

particularly) for applying the word.The Deckers versions of Ugg UK, Emu, Old Friend and Aussie Dogs have become made in China (some models are

sill being manufactured in New Zealand). However, those maded by Koolaburra and exported towards USA remain

stated in Australia.As a result of US trademark laws you will find that many Australian and US manufacturers who

produce this style of footwear are marketing them as ??Sheepskin Boots?? as opposed to Ugg Outlet Store.Playing with January 2006 pet owners of Uggs

-N-Rugs (Australia) could contain the Deckers Outdoor Corporations Australian Trademark for Ugh-boot pulled from

the Australian Trademarks Registry. This lead to deciding that this words ??Ug Boots??, ??Ugg Boots?? and ??Ugh

Boots?? may very well be interchangeable and were a plain term for ??Sheepskin Boots??. However, there was a lot

of controversy over this matter plenty of Australians and New Zealanders were against having ugg coupon trademarked.

1:40 AM

Blogger NIKE most models said...

Ah good exciting content! Will always come to our attention. To bring you good news-works perfect! So how is the Nike Football Cleats cleatschanged? the original Nike Speed boot!New products Nike Mercurial Vapor Superfly for us.the new Vapor football boots have undergone the same new paint work as the nike mercurial vapor superfly III and now feature the Nike Football Boots updated asymmetric.

6:31 AM

Blogger Happy Baby Peplo said...

2011 Uggs clearance you to Own Suede Tall Boots,the genuine sheepskin and lightweight sole bring the warm and relief feeling to you,Ugg Australia Boots online store for you to Buy excellent one to adjust to meet your shape of your feet, much sale price in Uggs nederland online for you Enjoy!UGGS are also in all size that will fit every member of your family both from the very young to the very old. Although you may have no difficulty in finding the perfect size boot for you, you may have difficulty in deciding what color you want. In this paragraph of snow ugg australia boots are very ladies like. This type of boots have prevent slippery, warm and wear-resisting function. Especially in the cold winter, can be Ugg outlet store sudden them out to keep warm and comfortable characteristics. They are your best companion in winter.

Cheap Moncler Online Shop is very modest,because the discount Moncler Outlet Store,can help you grasp the beauty of a woman's eye,you collect a lot of online Moncler Boots,your whole world seems warm and stylish.In the winter,Womens Moncler always seize the audience's attention,there is no beautiful style,both warm and comfortable,classic. Moncler sale Therefore,the soft winter fashion discount Moncler Online become the first choice and a single product.Moncler 2011 will not let you down for sure. Our Moncler Outlet Store presents many different products.

6:53 PM

Blogger Happy Baby Peplo said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

6:54 PM

Blogger Nora said...

Moncler Online Shop
Moncler Online
Moncler Sale

12:21 AM

Blogger Happy Baby Peplo said...

Uggs boots
Discount uggs
Uggs sale clearance

6:06 PM

Blogger Nora said...

Uggs Clearance
Ugg Boots Clearance

6:36 PM

Blogger rscredits said...

If a job is worth doing it is worth doing well.What runescape gold you share here just prove this saying, i like your thought here, rs gold which is special and informative.

This topic is pretty good and the writer's views are buy runescape gold unique and not so hard to understand.I like it very much, and by the cheap rs gold way I want to share some interesting and very useful websites to! Iam sure you can find out funny things there.

9:14 PM

Blogger dolinna said...

That is really cool. Thanks for finding it. Some really good ideas there, this is going to be a real time sink. I am a china tour lover,You can learn more: China tour packages | China travel packages | China Travel Agency

7:20 PM

Blogger Learn Chinese language on hanbridgemandarin said...

The best place to learn mandarin Chinese is in China. However, we understand that it isn't always possible to move here to study Chinese language. The next best thing is to study with our experienced teachers in a virtual classroom. Online students enjoy the same excellent way of mandarin Chinese online lessons and custom designed courseware that we provide for our face to face clients.

11:30 PM

Blogger Yaro Gabriel said...


nike foamposite
hermes belt
pandora charms
gentle monster sunglasses
cheap jordans
coach factory outlet
soccer jerseys
ugg outlet
pandora jewelry
nike factory outlet

11:29 PM

Blogger Yaro Gabriel said...

true religion outlet
calvin klein jeans
ugg outlet
nike outlet
dsquared2 jeans
ray ban sunglasses
michael kors outlet
diesel jeans
oakley sunglasses
canada goose jackets

7:50 PM

Blogger Richard Ressinger said...

Very useful posts, should I ever have some luck on the movie scene, I'll note these down, thank you very much. I have a tip to share with you as well - is the best spot to get rs gold for all your party hat, santa hat, nox scythe, wand of praesul and other needs!

4:05 AM


Post a Comment

<< Home