Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Mr. Sloane and the Ladies: 2.05

You've all been clamoring for more on my evil muse/boss, Sloane, so hopefully this'll sate you for awhile--and make Friday more fun!

Today, I'd like to tell you about Sloane's misogyny. I figure the more evil villains are, the more interested you'll be in just about anything. And cuz misogyny can be funny! [joke] And you asked for it. Remember that, you asked for it.

Mister Sloane is in his 60s-- he's fond of telling twentysomething development people that he's been in the business "since before you were in diapers". And let me tell you, nothing engenders respect like ageism and potty references. Except maybe a sharp blow to the head.

Sloane certainly has some interesting views on the intersection of gender and capitalism [not to mention a vicious double-standard regarding greed]. If I had to give a Psych 101 interpretation, I'd say they were a mix of living in LA/working in showbiz and his growing up in a pre-feminist world. Here's a money quote from just two days ago: "All I'm saying is that most women are money-grubbing whores. MOST women. Not all. Some are just greedy-- like men." Let's tease that out, shall we? Greed is okay, but whoring yourself for it is the exclusive property of women and should be despised. It might also be a power thing: women have the power of whoring and Sloane loses out because he doesn't.

He's got some issues with strong women, too: "If you're not careful, Atlas, a woman will just rip off your ball sack and eat it with a parsley garnish." I think I really just threw this quote in there because I liked the parsley garnish part. Personally, I'd wrap my sack around some foie gras, maybe drizzle it in a light meringue glaze.

The comments about his now-ex [we all suffered through an extended separation before D-day: his fourth divorce, her second] are highly misogynistic and often hilarious. Sadly, I'd have to ***** out most of them-- so much that they're not worth reprinting. Rest assured that he definitely has a boundless hate for at least one woman.

While discussing hot tv shows, I got this comment from him: "I hate those opening titles [on Desperate Housewives]. It's like they're trying to say that what those women raising babies throughout history were just as important as the men who were-- you know, inventing civilization." And no, I didn't tell him that that was the whole point. I don't challenge the crazy, I just work here.

Maggie, our plucky receptionist, would have ripped him a new one. [Bubbles is too much of an amiable moron to challenge Sloanethink.] I do believe Sloane knows that Maggie will call him on the stupid sh*t that too often comes out of his mouth. Bless that woman, and her dear, dear, unexpected fetus-child.

So what does his theory of women mean for his idea of the role of women in entertainment? He thinks women have their place- supporting the great creative geniuses of the industry as receptionists, assistants, readers, etc. Oh, and they can be good actresses, but they can't be smart. Publicists are all "skinny b*tches with cell phones up their c*nts". And let's just avoid the entire topic of lady ent. execs altogether by saying that he doesn't much care for them.