Showing Bubbles How It's Done: 2.16

So today, Sloane had me 'teach Bubbles everything you know'. If that were even possible, it would be an hopelessly complicated task considering the enormity of what Bubbles doesn't know. Fortunately, all I think Sloane meant was 'everything I know about being an assistant.' Still an impossible task considering her learning curve, but I guess it must be done.

Now, remember, I choose 'Bubbles' as her fake name because of the AbFab reference , not because it's the name of Michael Jackson's chimp. Although, that didn't exactly turn me off to the name or make me think it inappropriate. Bubbles is, in many ways, a blond chimp with the ability to speak some form of English.

Bubbles: "What's up with the sitch on the stuff for Val? You know, the stats and stuff."

It's fun times with Bubbles, keeps me on my toes. Also, I feel like I'm in ESL class for Valleyspeak.

Bubbles: "So you do everything by the alphabet?"

Training Bubbles to be an executive/creative/all-around assistant is like training a dolphin to be a firefighter. It just ain't gonna happen properly, no matter how much the poor dolphin tries.

Bubbles: "Oh, so like, you have to keep track of everyone you talk to on the phone about stuff?"

Bubbles rarely seems to grasp concepts such as: 'you have to do the work or things get all messed up'.

Bubbles: "Should I like, leave a message?"

Unless you want to keep calling back every two minutes, I'd go ahead and do that.

Bubbles: "You know, like, in the right light, you sorta look like Michael Vartan, except younger."

You're incorrigible, woman. You're sleeping with Sloane, so if I slept with you, it would be like I slept with him. And I can't even begin to fathom how wrong that is. Also, you're still gonna have to do the work, eventually-- I'm pretty sure it's impossible to flirt your way out of every situation.

Bubbles: "Can't we just pretend we did it?"

Sure. We could also pretend we live in a magical fairyland where jobs are superfun and there are magical castles made of cocaine and gingerbread. But that doesn't actually do anything.

Bubbles: "That guy was totally not very nice. I am NOT calling him back again."
Atlas: "I know, he is an a$$, so just try to keep conversations short and to the point with him."
Bubbles: "Why can't we just ignore him...you know, like forever?"

Funny, I've asked myself the same thing about you.

Bubbles: "This job sucks."

I guess that means I've taught her all I can. Go, Bubbles, go into the world...

This, by the way, is Jane Horrocks, who played Bubble on AbFab.