Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Assistant/Atlas Gets Third Season, Global Frequency Still In Doubt: 2.48

It has recently come to my attention that I have been dubbed a "Blogebrity", which, as you might have guessed, is an ancient Viking sailing ship . . . actually it's a ranking of the most famous and most influential bloggers in town.

Uh-huh, that's right. I made The List.

And once again I say, Blogging Saved My Career. I'm B-List now, Sloane, so you can put that in your proverbial pipe and smoke it, proverbially.

For blogger reference, this puts me in the same illustrious category as:
BoiFromTroy--A gay Republican (WTF?) whose love of SC football puts mine to shame...but is not going to make me feel like less of a man. I'm resolute on this point.
Warren Ellis-- Whose Global Frequency I WILL resurrect. . .(somehow)
Perez Hilton--Hollywood's Most Hated Website may have some competition. [*wink*]
Shane "I Did Not Now, Nor Did I Ever, Get It On With Cameron Diaz" Nickerson
Tiffany Stone of Breakfast at Tiffany's [also new to the list]
A Socialite's Life's Miu von Fursterberg
Trent, of Pink Is the New Blog

And a ton of others, most of whom I'm unfamiliar with, but all of whose blogs I will probably be scanning quite soon. Oddly, this puts me ahead of Peggy Archer's Totally Unauthorized, John Rogers' Kung Fu Monkey, Tom McCormack of the OC Idiots [new to the Rolodex], Jolie in NYC-- that's the blogger who LOST her career due to blogging, Margaret Cho(!), and CityRag, who are all C-List.

So obviously, THE Hollywood Assistant Blogebrity will be back for another season. Yes, that's right, the fun continues. Now, we've got just two more episodes until season-finale cliffhanger. What do you think it could be, huh? Isn't it getting exciting? I, for one, am so angst-y I'm nearing an existential breakdown. Woo-pee!

Upcoming in the Third Season of Assistant/Atlas

A Re-Tooled, Revamped, Re-invigorated and even more fun Whisper Price Game! [details forthcoming]

More Naming of Executives: Both Asstastic and Excellent.

A NEW FEATURE! A NEW FEATURE THAT INVOLVES HOT, SWEATY SEXUAL TENSION! And maybe even R-rated naughties. It's really all up to Ryan Colucci.

Also upcoming. . .Better Site Design, maybe get my Blogroll, the Rolodex of Assistant/Atlas, in order. I should, I really should. But seriously-- I must prioritize a little. And the fact that I'm about to run out of money forces me to re-prioritize the job situation to the top of the list.

A guest appearance by Sloane? What? More Sloane stories? GASP-- could that b*tch be back?
Speaking of Sloane, Maggie reports that she took some flack for commenting on my blog, so she probably won't be doing that again. Oopsies.

Oh, stay tuned, kiddies, stay tuned...

The following is for everyone on the : Don't believe that the Global Frequency is dead. That's what the WB publicity hacks want you to think. Their strategy is to shut down the torrents, play down the controversy, and ultimately make GF die a quiet death and be a historical footnote. Yeah, I know what Warren Ellis said. Warren Ellis has to play nice with the WB if they're going to even think of releasing the rights, let alone the pilot. Plus, he doesn't want to become a blacklisted writer, so he must tread carefully or the hordes of WB lawyers could descend upon his head.

The important thing is to take this "news" for what it is:
A Strategy

Guess what, WB and all media, you might've been able to play like that before, but it's now 2005-- and we're onto you. We know a fauxmance when we see it [TomKat] and we know a bomb before we see it [The Island]. And it's only going to get easier for us. Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha. Ahem.

If you hate the WB and their stupidity and are will to fight stupidity with stupidity then let this be known to you:

If you don't have BitTorrent, you can click for the page to download it from.
If you have BitTorrent, and you want to find a torrent that you can use to oh, I dunno, search for something called the Global Frequency, you can click here for that. Be prepared for this process to take 4-6 hours on a reasonable connection as it's a pilot for an hour-long show which is 455 Mi/B, I believe. Or Ki/B, or whichever one is bigger.
But obviously, that would be bad for you to do.

This concludes the Global Frequency transmission.

Hey, kids in LA, Atlas is going out on the town tonight for Jungle Computer's birthday. If you're into blogebrity sightings, you might check out Silverlake & Glendale bars with Rouge Leo vibe to them. Say around ten? Bring an entourage, it'll be fun.

Why yes, I AM famous.
Atlas is now a blogebrity-- if you'd like to be in my entourage, you may leave your resume in the comments. Please be beautiful, vapid, hollow, charming, well-dressed and highly syncophantic.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Congrats on the B-List, A/A. Do you think if you showed your tits [ie- reveal Sloane], you could get on the A-list? Just a thought.

8:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You'll never be Tucker Max...

8:26 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just wondering where people find the time to read all these blogs.

I read two, yours and Query Letters I Love, and that takes up the most significant part of my work day.

10:01 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe you should quit your job then.

11:33 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are so last week, man.

Let's hope there's money in blogging, because you ain't going anywhere for the next three years.

12:31 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ignore the doubters. You are the zeitgeist. . . baby. You know, despite the movie "Swingers" and years in the industry, I'm still not comfortable calling people that.

8:27 PM


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