Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Help Me Help The Global Frequency: 2.42

If you haven't heard of the Global Frequency, I'm going to tell you why it's the BEST SHOW THAT COULD BE ON TELEVISION. No, I'm not drunk, I'm just excited. If you don't know the basic backstory of , then please allow me this short primer. If you've already seen the Global Frequency pilot, or read the comic books upon which it is based, then you won't need this next paragraph because you'll know the possibilities for a show like this to exist.

'The Global Frequency' is an underground NGO, an intelligence service sans portfolio, a global organization led by a mysterious woman called "Miranda Zero" ['that's the only name you're gonna get'], who is in constant contact, via super-nifty superphones, to a global network of scientists, ex-spies, freelance detectives, Hollywood assistants, etc. They come together outside the normal channels to thwart an unending stream of disasters that constantly threatens an unsuspecting public. That's the show. It's X-Files meets Alias, with a comic book base and proven-awesome people connected to it. Besides comic creator Warren Ellis, there's Ben Edlund [The Tick & more], Diego Gutierrez [Buffy & more], David Slack [Teen Titans], John Rogers [upcoming Transformers movie & lots more] and Mark "King of Reality Television" Burnett. If Burnett presides over an earth-shattering revival of the GF show and adds some scripted fare to his coterie of reality tv, he may be upgraded to Mark "King of New TV" Burnett. At least by me.

Right now, the WB super-conglomerate and its attendant brigade of lawyers has the rights. Which means that it isn't possible to re-package and re-sell it as another type of broadcast material [sorry, Brits, BBC can't do it]. Which means that it's up to them to re-start the show. Which means it's up to us to convince them to do that.

So, folks, this goes out to the .

The Global Frequency's Hollywood Assistant needs your help in getting the tv show back up and running.

Right now, we crucially need more media attention for the Global Frequency. Period. I talked to a bunch of Big Agency assistants the other day and none of them had even heard of it. (notice I write 'had'-- I'm trying, people)

We need a major new publication to run a story to spur another round of media coverage and help generate the publicity sandstorm we'll need to knock down the gates of . "Wired" is great, but it's not exactly required reading for the WB development department.

Here's the publications that executives at are most likely to read and/or pay attention to:
1) "Variety"
2) "The Hollywood Reporter"
3) The LA Times
4) "Entertainment Weekly"
5) The LA Weekly? TV Guide? Defamer? Premiere? People? What the hell do people at the WB actually read? It ain't Virgina Woolf every day, that's for sure.

Now, let's think this through. Every self-respecting Ho'wood exec will peruse "Variety" and everyone notices when they're mentioned in it. About the same, but with a bit less effect with the "Reporter" ["HR"]. The LA Times has good credibility, but they'll [WB execs] only scan headlines and could potentially miss a story unless there's sustained and/or prominent coverage. That would be great, but that would also be harder to pull of at this point. "Variety" and "HR" are much easier to influence. And since, the official/unofficial site promoting the GF, has already led a campaign against 'EW', I think we're covered there. If 'EW' doesn't pick up the story in a week or two, it may be time to hit them, but for now, let's concentrate on "Variety" and "Hollywood Reporter". Defamer's already aware of the situation, the LA Weekly might be okay-- maybe Nikke Finke would like to help, even though I called her retarded. To be fair, her column this week was much better [same subject, but mostly reader letters] and we all know how I like inflammatory headlines and that my actual writing about her was much more balanced. Anyways...

At Variety, I've chosen to target the two Television Editors. Michael Schneider's email is
The other TV editor at Variety is Josef Adalian, his email is

Let us, all together, now fill their inboxes immediately. Remember to address them as Mr. Adalian and Mr. Schneider and be nice-- they like that.

At the Hollywood Reporter, it's much harder to get emails to the appropriate people [ie- I couldn't find them posted online in a preliminary search], but let me know what you've got in the comments.

From my end, I'd say "Variety" is our best bet for a concentrated blast of mail, and let us perhaps mention that they can be savvy by jumping on it first. For all you outside-of-showbusiness people, is a Monday-to-Friday glossy magazine/newspaper delivered to most executives in Hollywood every morning. It reports, with casual Hollywood repartee, the biggest stories circulating in Hollywood and is the closest thing to a must-read. For now, I think it's our best bet.

So if you'd like to help bring democracy to America and television, please help by emailing these people. Please, please, sound like an intelligent 18-35-year-old who has lots of disposable income. If you can't pull that off, try for 13-18. And if you can't pull that off, sample letters appear at the end of this post. Sample letters--that's friggin' CUT AND PASTE people. I literally can't make it easier.

But really, if you do this, thank you.

Now, there are some specific parts of the GF that I need help from. Essentially, they are:

GEEKS/HACKERS/THE TECH-SAVVY: Keep the torrents running. Keep people aware of how to reach them. At least until the WB announces it might actually do something. At that point, we'll all re-assess. But obviously, you can do whatever the hell you want. You have power.

JOURNALISTS: Come on, advise your bosses and peers to cover what could potentially be the most incredible story of our lifetime-- the day the networks succumbed to P2P pressure and re-started a television show. Or, it could be a trend of the networks actually paying attention to viewers. Family Guy was brought back by DVD sales. Arrested Development got saved by critical acclaim, then by the potential for yet another media firestorm. Make Global Frequency a sign of the future-- if consumers aren't given what they want, they'll go outside traditional channels to get it. [please note word choice in this sentence, it was not coincidental]

PUBLICISTS/BLOGEBRITIES: If you're good at publicity, help by using a bit of it for GF. It's not hard to watch a copy of GF on the internet, and frankly, I think the copyright issues are murky at best on this.

ACLU/FREEDOM FIGHTERS/ACTIVISTS: Hello, test case? How tech-savvy is the ACLU, anyone know? Can we make them tech-savvy? I dunno, they do seem pretty smart a lot of the time, I must say.

ASSISTANTS: Make sure your bosses know that's going on with the GF. At least, make sure they've heard of it-- even if they don't quite 'get it'. Just have them know that it's scary technology they need to obey. Older people nearly always believe anything you say about technology if you're twenty-something.

LAWYERS: I'm totally f*cked, aren't I?


If you need a sample letter, I've provided one below. Those underscore parts-- You'll need to fill in those with names. Other than that, it could not be easier. Cut and paste away, people. And remember to have a Snappy Subject. Here are some suggestions for subjects, and generally, emails to these people:
1) Avoid all caps
2) Avoid more than one exclamation point, no matter how excited you are.
Here are some good subjects: Feel free to post your own letters as examples in the comments section.

Global Frequency Calling
Get on the Global Frequency
Global Frequency Revolution!
Television's Great Debate: The Global Frequency
Hey [insert first name here], Global Frequency Wants You
Is Global Frequency Coming Back? I Hope So
Television Revolution: The Global Frequency
Global Frequency's Television Revolution
Leaking the Boob Tube. . .actually that might get you blocked by spam filters.


Dear Mr. ______________,

It has recently come to my attention that a copy of the WB-produced television pilot "Global Frequency" has been circulating on the Internet in various 'torrents' or 'peer-to-peer networks'.

I, for one, couldn't be happier. You see, to me, this represents a revolution in television as we know it.

When the WB essentially threw the pilot away, the people saw what they wanted and they, essentially, passed it around to each other via the Internet. The Global Frequency pilot spread all over the Internet, spread by tech-savvy torrent users and comic book fans. The people who have seen "Global Frequency" and are calling for its pick-up on the WB network represent both the possibilities and the perils of the future.

They are proof that demand exists that is not being filled. But most of them are not evil scofflaws, they're just reasonably tech-savvy pop culture enthusiasts. Personally, I'd like to buy at least a DVD of the pilot, but there are no plans for such a creature to exist. Many, like me, watch the WB occasionally. But no matter how you look at it, it's such an interesting story and "Variety" would be ahead of the trend to report on it now. International papers have picked up the story to an extent, but the only American publication thus far has been "Wired" magazine. Variety, with its in-depth Hollywood resources, could really add a lot to this unfolding story.

In short, Mr. _________________, there's no telling what could happen with other pilots, but if Global Frequency returns, it could revolutionize television[and yield a dynamite show]. After all, is it too much to hope from Hollywood to just let me tell it what I want to watch with my own eyeballs--and my own dollars?


________________ __________________ [your name, a return email at least, maybe a city, especially if it's LA]


Now, this letter could be easily modified for almost any publication. Just drop the one sentence about Variety, change its mention to that of some other publication, and voila, instant email. I'm also writing one to my personal favorite publication, the Economist. Feel free to write to your own favorite publication. [why do I have a feeling a GF story is going to pop up in US Weekly? Just kidding, celeb-u-whores.]

And since we're writing letters. . .

Dear WB Lawyers and Executives,

I love you. Please don't make the biggest mistake you'll ever make by suing me and highlighting the power of P2P networks.

Oh, and to remind you, WB--this show may not have more buzz than any pilot ever has-- but it does have WAY more buzz than anything you have on your 2006-2007 slate. And there's totally still enough time to use GF as cool summer fare. But the people behind the GF are talented folks, and they could go somewhere else if you don't lock them early enough. Just giving you fair warning, WB. I love you, WB. We can work together to change television. And it'll be good for you, too.

AND FINALLY. . . Here is a list of online resources to learn more about the Global Frequency. is the semi-official main site. is the blog of the pilot's writer John Rogers and a good source of fresh news as well. is the comic creator's site,1412,67986,00.html?tw=wn_2culthead is the link for the Wired article [it's good and easy to understand. Don't be afraid of 'Wired'. They won't bite.] You can search for the latest blog posts and news stories and things that mention Global Frequency. If you want to watch GF, go here. Follow instructions carefully, but only do them in theory. In 'theory', it's just that easy.
And of course, there's the ever-popular Google.

Atlas At the Gates of the WB, Hoping Hordes Are Behind Him.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Change Hollywood with a few simple emails? It can't be that easy. But hey, I guess I got ten minutes for you, Atlas.

9:53 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Atlas, do you actually read "Variety"? Most of their writers are borderline retarded, how do you expect them to recognize such a ground-breaking story?

11:24 AM

Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

Hey, shhh. We LOVE Variety, don't we guys? We just love it. That "Frogicide" headline was genius, Josef! Did you think of it? Hey, when were you planning on doing a GF story, Josef? Michael, you?

1:04 PM

Blogger justin said...

So do you like this Global Frequency or what? I'm confused.

3:21 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you're mounting a campaign against the WB, shouldn't your avatar, I dunno, NOT be their biggest star? Just wondering. I mean, he is hot and all that jazz, but really?

3:28 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure he likes it, Justin. Or was that sarcastic and I'm just a little slow today?

3:38 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, I'm going to email both of them. I think you'd be interested in a BCC of my email, but I can't find an address for you. You can email me at mikecane(at) and I'll get you a copy of what I sent to Variety.

1:39 PM


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