Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Whisper Price Game: Indie Darlings

This week's game will allow you to rant and rave about some of your favorite and least-favorite indie darlings. For frame of reference, let's just say you're an assistant at CAA, and you're calling to get them for a crappy 'love interest' role or something in a stupid Michael Bay movie.

But first, in Chad Michael Murray news, Michael K. over at D-Listed is running a poll-- the topic: "Which Current 'It' Boy would you work over until they were raw?"

While Atlas is not big with the man-on-man action, he does have a man's drive to win. So before you play 'Whisper Price' today, head on over to D-Listed and cast a vote. Chad's up against Kirsten Dunst's beard [Jake Gyllenhaal], the OC's Adam Brody [hey, i'm all for geeks being attractive, but seriously, do you have a carnal desire for him? I don't think so], Chris "Human Torch" Evans, Tyrese [who just needs the one name, apparently] and Kimberly Stewart. But right now it's a tough four-way fight between Chad, Jake, Chris and Adam, with Chad currently in the rear. And that's not where you wanna be. Vote at D-Listed.

One It Boy To Rule Them All

And now, The Whisper Price Game: Indie Darlings
Remember, the object is . . . aww, screw it. The object is funny comments.

A former indie queen/darling, Winona Ryder will always be close to my heart for "Heathers", but what's she worth after "Free Winona"?

Michael Pitt-- is this indie cinema's new leading man? Seriously. Who else? Johnny, Matt and Ben [and Casey], Benicio del Toro, even Michael Rappaport lost it awhile ago with their big agents and strong celebrity personas. There's precious few who aren't manufactured. After an indie-cred-giving naked star turn in "The Dreamers", Gus Van Sant seems to think Pitt's got the goods to immortalize almost-Kurt Cobain on film in "Last Days". He just might. Rumors of a present?/former? drug [at least coke] addiction persist, and his recent shabby appearances haven't helped. So he's definitely still 'indie'. But is he a star? How much would you offer him for his soul? You know, as an opening.

Parker Posey is brilliant. Give the woman some credit, I don't ever remember seeing a movie with her in it that I didn't like, she's never become a big, huge star and she's played every role she's had with relish. And she's been working impressively since at least "Dazed and Confused" in 1993. Yeah, that's a twelve-year career of solid performances. And what does she have to show for it? Well, a slate of more small-budget indie fare, except for Bryan Singer's big-budget affair, Superman Returns.

Chloe Sevigny gave a ten-minute BJ for her 'art'. What would you pay her to give you a simulated BJ on your art? I hate Chloe Sevigny, and it's not just because she has a pretentious French name that's hard to spell, because I can forgive THAT easily, but she's just so. . . boring on-screen. She wasn't even that good in "Boys Don't Cry", which was a bracingly good movie.

Vincent Gallo. Listen, Vinny, Buffalo '66 scared the crap out of me-- in a good way. But let's watch the excessive facial hair on your IMDB pic, huh? Don't wanna scare off those potential actresses/dates, do we?

And finally, the man that even the mighty Tom Cruise can't wrestle to the ground--it's everyone's favorite, Harvey Weinstein. Now, I know Harvey's not an actor or anything, but let's talk about him anyway. Now is the time to anonymously post those Harvey stories I know you have. I know you have them.

So there's today's Whisper Price Game, brought to you by Assistant/Atlas. Be sure to click your waiter.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Winona: She's radioactive B.O. now. "Heathers" may have been great, but in the light of her, Christian Slater and Shannon Doherty's careers seems less cool.
Michael Pitt: Who is he, again? I guess that's the appropriate question for the Indie It Boy.
Parker Posey: Not the angel you see her as, Atlas, but still cooler than everyone else on the list.
Chloe Sevigny: You are barely famous b*tch, and your biggest claim to fame is blowing Vincent Gallo.
Vincent Gallo: The crazy director guy on Entourage is Vincent to a T.
Harvey: No good Harvey stories, but he's got a scary rep.

9:17 PM

Blogger Cardinal Biggles said...

Much as I would love to bag on everyone listed (my favorite story of Harvey's is the one where some negotiations became contentious and he said 'Oh yeah?! You think you're a bigger man than me??' and proceeded to show how big a man he was by zipping down and throwing it down on the table.), I have to give praise of Michael Pitt, much as it pains me. I've seen two films he's in, and he's overcome my initial reaction of "oh, he looks exactly like..." First, in 'The Dreamers' someone decided that since Leo backed out, they would give Michael his exact haircut, making it tough to overcome. But he did. I forgot about Leo and focused on him. Same thing for 'Last Days,' which I saw today. Looks exactly like Kurt Cobain, but make it impressive (even with his singing, which was his, not some dib job). So I must give the Pitt props. As for the others:

Winona: Really, haven't been impressed by her since 'Heathers.' Discovered she should never, EVER pull her hair back in 'Dracula.' Really, really goofy looking ears that you can't take your eyes of. And acting that has left me cold.

Chad Michael: well, I read a WB script meant for him that was basically 'Cool Hand Luke' with a happy ending. Basically meant to give him 'edge.' I puked.

Parker: Very good, but she's been in some bad movies' 'Blade: Trinity,' 'You've Got Mail' Has saved her indie cred with Chris Guest films.

Chloe: really can't stand her in most films.. She plays passive many times, which is a terrible acting choice (e.g 'Last Days of Disco'). And what's with the 3rd nipple/mole in 'Boys Don't Cry?' Completely took me out of the scene. I just kept thinking 'get that removed! I can smell the melonoma from here!'

Vincent: liked 'Buffalo' but comes off worse than his imitation cliche on 'Entourage.' Really, you put a curse on the fat film nerd's colon? WTF?

10:56 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dude, Vincent Gallo totally IS the director guy from Entourage! That has to be where they got that character from-- since those writers don't actually create anything, they just steal.

10:23 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Vincent Gallo is a genius.

1:19 PM

Anonymous Justin said...

I have a presentation incoming week, and I am on the lookout for such information. Thank you for your articles!

6:36 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

While Atlas is not big with the man-on-man action, he does have a man's Generic Viagra currently in the rear. And that's not where you wanna be. Vote at D-Listed.

12:34 PM

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