Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Friday, December 09, 2005


I don't know if anyone else had problems today with Fedex like my office had problems. But today, boy did we, and did I.

Today, Fedex took a rusty old broom and violated me repeatedly with the handle.
So very painful.
It was not pretty.

Apparently, bad weather combined with delays at cargo-friendly Midway caused by the Southwest crash caused all sorts of foul-ups. Among the highlights: boss lady's luggage wasn't quite where it was supposed to be-- in fact, it was stuck in Memphis. Which, if I remember my Fedex correctly, means it could've been picked up by one of their planes that roam the skies. Every night, Fedex sends out like five planes from Memphis to roam the skies to plug any holes in their network that should emerge.

Normally, I love because they're so reliable. They've saved my butt before, but today, karma made his man-on-man rounds and used me until the cows came home, went to bed, and were counting sheep.

And frankly, I--WE, most of my office--really needed Fedex to not totally screw up today. But they did. And our Fedex guy, who I'll call Eddie, was on the defensive. Peppering him with questions the moment he set foot in our office probably wasn't nice, smart or diplomatic considering the day he'd probably had, but still, I was one of the people most disappointed by the turn of events. And also, I'm allowed to protest a little if his company ravages me. And I don't care if he methinks protesteth too much. Or whatever.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Our dependence on Fedex actually amazing, isn't it? But they didn't really f*ck us over-- all our important Friday stuff is messenger-ed. That sucks though, dude, sorry.

11:35 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Assistant Atlas, I want you to know that sometimes, I come to your blog just to stare at Chad Michael Murray pictures. Please keep up the good pictures. And the writing's fine, too. But seriously, don't lose the pictures.

3:29 PM

Anonymous the_plot_thickens said...

May I just say that I am absolutely in love with our Fedex guy. So is half of our office, but I swear, I love him most. Hottest thighs ever.

12:55 AM

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