Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Monday, November 28, 2005

You Make the Call Game: Hey Kiddies!

Welcome back, friends. That was a long, long weekend, and not particularly relaxing. It never is when you've got deadlines. But let's take some time out of our hectic day to dream, shall we?

Let's pretend we're just a few phone calls away from making a movie. The assistants are primed, the lawyers are contract-ready, and the financing is in place. Yippee-ki-yay, Bruce Willis.

So the question for you is, who gets the call?

The script du jour is a family-friendly flick-- which are going to saturate the market until people stop having children whom they constantly need to sate with entertainment, so, forever-- with wide-eyed newcomer kids (just try getting Dakota Fanning, just try) who need the steady BO-building hands of some seasoned pros. So who will it be to guarantee your kiddie flick will reap critical and/or commercial success?

HE'S MY HERO:
Matthew McConaughey Vs. Jack Black Vs. Dax Shephard

Matthew could use a blockbuster hit to cement his box office draw status, and we know Jack Black is a hit with the kids thanks to the immeasurably-sweet School of Rock. Of course, if you want to keep costs down, there's always Dax.

THIS IS AN EVIL LADY:
Glenn Close Vs. Jennifer Coolidge Vs. Jennifer Saunders

Fine actress that she is, Glenn has gone past Ho'wood's death age for female actresses (40) and could probably use the big-screen work. Jennifer Coolidge is an underrated comedic force, but she has played an evil stepmother well in the Hilary Duff starrer A Cinderella Story. And um, I only watched that movie for her. Yeah, I'm going with that story. Jennifer Saunders is my dark horse candidate, but she does have some bad-guy cred after voicing the evil fairy godmother in Shrek 2.

THIS IS MY FAIRY GODMOTHER:
Sally Field Vs. Glenn Close Vs. Betty White

Have you seen Sally Field lately? Girl could use some work. Again, versatile actress Glenn Close could probably work well in either role, so be sure to specify which role you want her in. Assume she'd be equally likely to take either one. Finally, Betty White, the most hilarious of The Golden Girls, which has been hugely successful in syndication, racking up big, and surprisingly young, numbers. So will Betty White be your big-screen pick?
Hey Betty!
Comment lines are now open-- so who gets the call?

9 Comments:

Anonymous Trevor said...

Okay, let's go with Jack Black -- unless his numbers are just hopelessly inflated based on School 0f Rock & upcoming monkey movie. Otherwise, let's give Dax a go. He had great presence in Zathura and will probably will make a bigger splash soon.

For the evil chick, let's go for Glenn Close so people know this is a quality picture and for box office name value if Jack Black is a no go. (If Jack is a go, Jennifer Saunders should take this spot.)

For the final, go with Betty White. She's always great and has a wonderful appeal. She's also getting older quickly (a bit slow when I saw her on Martha last week) but still can deliver a line like no other.

Get those operators dialing now! ;-)

11:15 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pssh. The choices here are obvious. We've learned you can't open a movie with Dax. Jack Black because he's cheaper than McConaughey. Jennifer Saunders over Glenn Close for the same reason-- Coolidge is too one-note. Finally, Sally Field to satisfy in the oldsters, although I do love Betty White.

11:11 PM

 
Blogger cinekat said...

I'm going tzo have to say Glenn Close for sophisticated evil (plus, grandmothers will be more likely to buy tix), Jack Black to draw in the little tykes and Betty White for the kooky comedy.

2:05 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Moms across America would take their kids to see it three or four times if you put Matthew in it. Remember who buys the tickets-- kids will want to see whatever they've seen commercials for.

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