Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Borat's Kazakhstan Vs. The Real Kazakhstan

Perhaps you've heard about the problems that seem to be afflicting Sasha Baron Cohen's screenings of his new film, Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.

"Yeah, so what about the projector problems?" you may say. Nay, I say. Look not at the projection systems: this is an obvious case of sabotage by the crack Kazakh secret security services, the National Security Committee. Of course, only an anonymous source like myself could report this, with a machinery as powerful as the government of Kazakhstan involved.

Kazakhstan's President Nursultan Nazarbayev, who is as sexy as he is smart, is the obvious mastermind behind this plot to stop (Jew-alert!) Cohen's film from getting a screening. I mean, he's been on record actively opposing the film for awhile now, due to its completely inaccurate satire of Kazakhstan. Instead, President Nazarbayev wants us to take a look at the real Kazakhstan...which we'll do together!

Now, for the record, Nazarbayev's more media-savvy and reportedly more democratically-inclined politician daughter, Dariga, got the joke.

While I think this bolsters my case that authoritarian governments really suck at PR, let's take this opportunity to explore the differences between Borat's wacky not-real Kazakhstan with the...

Assistant/Atlas Guide to Glorious Cultural Exchange With Kazakh People!

Borat's Kazakhstan: Women can now travel on the inside of the bus!
Real Kazakhstan: In comparison to a number of other predominantly Arabic-influenced cultures, women are somewhat more equal here (thanks, decades of Soviet propaganda!).

Borat's Kazakhstan: Some of the cleanest prostitutes in Central Asia!
Real Kazakhstan: Kazakhstan's Health Minister fired for infecting women and children with HIV.

Borat's Kazakhstan: A Jew who makes a defamatory movie about Kazakhstan deserves to be thrown down a well.
Real Kazakhstan: A Jew who makes a defamatory movie about Kazakhstan deserves have his film burned (assuming he can't be immediately jailed).

Borat's Kazakhstan: Recreational rape is a favorite Kazakh pastime!
Real Kazakhstan: Raping the electorate is much more commonplace.

In conclusion, President Nazarbayev, be careful what you wish for.

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your attacks on Kazakhstan are malinformed. President Nazarbayez has led country to greatness. You should remember that well.

12:43 AM

 
Blogger Chad said...

I've heard that 4rx organization is trying to make something to help in these issues but I don't think it'll work.

12:41 PM

 

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