Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

CW Off To Roaring Start: 5.26

I was trying to shake off my continuing gloom, and fortunately, my favorite network's bastard child, the CW, has helpfully obliged with its new ad campaign. Have you noticed it? Sure you have. They're the green ads that are popping up on billboards and buses all around large cities like Los Angeles. They look kinda like this:
(Popwatch snagged these pics.)

Leaving aside the sheer stupidity of the "Free to Be" slogan (is it patriotic? rebellious? ironic?), I simply must take exception to some of the one-word appellations. Granted, some make sense: Tom Welling's "Super", for example. Although, I must say that that has to be one of the gayest Tom Welling pictures in the history of Tom Welling photography. But it makes sense. You know, except for the fact that the slogan doesn't mean anything.

Veronica Mars may be "Fearless", but watching her doesn't help me deal with my scary boss. And speaking of "Scary", I was plenty scared before Supernatural came along. The only thing it made me free to be afraid of is the judgment of girls 12-17.
And the Gilmore Girls may be "Witty", but why call Alexis Bledel "Girlie" and scare off potential male fans? These are Marketing 101 lessons, people. Oy.

But I reserve special ire for whomever genius did the One Tree Hill ad. "Cool"? COOL!?!?! Did you run out of adjectives? I guarantee you one of the assistants could've found a thesaurus. Because we all learned in Marketing 101 that if a bunch of marketing people try to make something 'Cool', it never will be.

And what, exactly, is my avatar doing in those ads? Is he angry? Having a migraine? Enlightened? Pointing out how cool his eyebrows are? It is resolutely NOT cool. Sorry, Chad. It just sucks. And please, white boys do not wear soul patches. Only Tony Almeida gets to wear a soul patch.

Dude....seriously. You're making me look bad. Again.



Blogger EmployeeMegan said...

As a One Tree Hill afficionado, I would have gone with Free to Be Senseless. Or maybe plotless. Inexplicable? Without artistic merit of any kind? Any are better than "cool". Also, instead of Chad Mike, the ad would feature Dan Scott dressed as the devil, mid-maniacal laugh.

11:06 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Those billboards look like Tom Welling is about to give someone head. What is this, the year of the Gay Superman?

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

10:22 PM

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