Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Did I Sleep With A Professional?: 4.32

My title has the subtitle of: And did I get it for free?

Hearken back to my previous posts about my business trip.

Tiffany suggested that women in hotel bars with 3 condoms are hookers.

Frankly, I had not thought of the idea. And also, frankly, I'm a little freaked out by the very real possibility of that being the case.

You see, your faithful Atlas can be a little naive when it comes to women. And yes, while I do draw inspiration from Swingers, I often fall far short of that goal of Swingin' masculinity.

Not-Samaire was totally a hooker. She asked me if I partied when we got to the room.

I said: "Uh, yeah!" Like, obviously.

She said: "So how do you like to party?"

Oh, I thought, I understand. "I don't really have anything here, other than what's in the minibar." I prayed that she wouldn't reach into my minibar.

She didn't. She kissed me. She whispered: "You're not holding anything, are you baby?" She smelled so good. I would've given her anything she wanted. But I had nothing I knew she wanted. F___.

To be continued...


Blogger The Gambino Crime Family said...

Not that it's any of our business, but no - I get the feeling that she was totally NOT a hooker. I mean, she didn't ask for cash, right? The vibe I got from your previous post was "woman on a business trip looking to wander."

5:38 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Haven't you guys seen Munich? She's an assassin. She just couldn't kill you after you gave her the time of her life.

That or... you might want to check that you have all your credit cards and cash.

6:53 AM

Blogger london cokehead said...

" I said: "Uh, yeah!" Like, obviously"


7:38 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you left out the part where you dropped $300 so she would leave from your original post...well I have no words.

If no money exchanged hands, then you're in the clear. No "working girl" is gonna say, "aw, he's cute, I think I'll give him a freebie." No matter how great in the sack you may be.

10:14 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Somehow, I'm thinking that a professional would have charged you something ;)

11:15 AM

Blogger Assistant Atlas said...

Guys, you're not supposed to fill in the ending before I get the chance to write it! ;)

Whatever. Anyway, I agree that Not-Samaire was also a Not-Hooker. And do hookers even bother to come up with cover stories about being in town for an obscure-sounding convention? I would guess not.

8:07 PM

Blogger cinekat said...

A woman in a bar with condoms does not a hooker make. Let good times be had by all

10:16 PM


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