The Hallucination Point: 4.47

Today's post deals with something that not only assistants, but nearly everyone is today's modern world, faces. It's called: lack of sleep, and it friggin' sucks.

So I looked up some answers to common sleep-related questions. Don't worry, I used credible sources. Obviously, not Wikipedia. Anyway, look and learn, people.

How much sleep do you need per night?
You should get at least 7-8 hours if you're a 20- or 30-something, perhaps 9-10 if you're one of the unlucky people who need more sleep than others.

And how much sleeplessness must you suffer before you become as impaired as a drunk person?
Wake up at 7am and stay awake until about 2 or 3am. It's cheaper than Cristal.

How little sleep do you have to have before you start seeing things?
From experience, about 40-48 hours, although those could've just been acid flashbacks.

How do you know if you aren't getting enough sleep?
Do you yawn during the day? Find yourself getting sleepy in the middle of the day- it still counts even if you're doing something extremely boring. According to sleep experts, if you're getting tired during the middle of the day, you're sleep deprived.

What if you are getting enough sleep, in theory at least, but you still feel tired?
Uh-oh. You could have any number of conditions, including sleep apnea, which is when you stop breathing while you're asleep, usually due to blocked air passages, and your brain wakes you up to prevent you from dying. It's not good and if you suffer from it, you have to lose weight and stop smoking. Hopefully it'll be one or the other for you because that would difficult to pull off at the same time.

Come on, isn't sleep deprivation good for comedic creativity and some kinds of writing?
Um, jokes that are funny at 3AM aren't usually as funny in the morning. And frankly no, it's not good for you. A fresh, awake brain is pretty much always preferable to a sleepy one.

Can I get STDs from sleep deprivation?
Only if you hallucinate that a Whoreface is someone you'd want to sleep with. Zing!

TECHNORATI TAGS: sleep deprivation

PS: I wrote this post as a subtle way of showing you, my dear readers, what I go through for you. Hey, man, part of being a patron saint is that you gotta suffer, right? Catholics, is that right? I have no idea, except I think I also have to perform miracles. But that one's totally easy. I work in Hollywood, baby, I make miracles everyday.