Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Dear Mr.Gates, Please Rebuild LA's Mass Transit: 5.16

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

I know you have lots o' the money, and really want to help cure diseases in Third World countries and other similarly noble acts. But you've got so much more than enough to do that.

So please, rebuild LA's mass transit.

The dirty little secret of Los Angeles is that it had excellent mass transit until the car companies and their tire and oil allies tore up the trolley tracks. Mr. Gates, being a smart guy, I'm sure you know this. To the others out there, please don't dispute me on this one, friends. It's in the history books, if you care to look.

But really Mr. Gates, it's starting to get crazy out here. Riot crazy on our fair streets. And I've lived in South Central, so I know a thing or two about conditions like that. Back in the late 90s and early 2000s, things were kinda okay, and seemed to be getting better.

Forget Hotlanta. LA's got fire under the collar, thanks to traffic, and sometimes smog blocking our sunshine. And while Mayor Villaraigosa may be trying, he just ain't got the cash. And he has other things to worry about, though he would likely help guide this thing through.

Now that we've established that only you can save LA, Mr. Gates, here are some of the best subway extensions money could buy. (insert weave joke here)

1) Hook up the airports. Get rails going right into LAX-- integrate them better into the airport. Extend the Red Line (which goes through Hollywood, Universal City and ends in North Hollywood) to Burbank Airport and the Blue to Long Beach Airport. Then they could more easily take some of the pressure off of LAX. That's only like 5 miles total.

2) Get thee to the beaches. Venice, Santa Monica, Manhattan, Hermosa, and Playa Vista are all primed for lines-- they're dense, etc. Sure, people could argue this will overcrowd and pollute the beaches, but I live near one and it's already way too far gone for that argument. Plus, the ban on subways west of Wilshire is in the process of being overturned.

3) Hit the landmarks. Some of Hollywood is already covered, but get more of the city's historic landmarks connected--or um, build new landmarks. And if the Beverly Hills biyotches kvetch (again), go around 'em. Through Culver City, if necessary. And can we build light rail to Disneyland?

See, that's not so bad, right? A few billion and we, the poor of LA, will be in much better shape. Or at least, we'll still be able to get around even if our car conks out on us.

So thanks for reading, Mr. Gates. And I look forward to your swift rebuilding of LA's mass transit. Once this is complete, I will forgive you for Windows. Probably.

Yours Truly,



Blogger anotherhollywooder said...

that's the one thing i dislike about this place, traffic is unbelievable! The first week I was here I was living in the OC, and the commute was unbelievable, I shudder to remember those days...

2:40 PM

Blogger Nyssa23 said...

If only somebody--anybody--would actually do this! It took me 2 hours to get to and from my internship in Beverly Hills every day because I couldn't cobble together anything better from the random train, bus, and subway schedules. And yes, I had to ride all three to get there and back. *sigh*

4:13 PM

Blogger odo coileus said...

My day gig's in transit planning. I see the ins and outs first hand. It's not a question of money. Even Bill Gates doesn't have enough.

It's a question of political will. You need somebody who can concentrate a massive amount of political power, and then bully, decieve, and charm away all the interest groups and naysayers.

Ovitz, Carl Rove, Clinton (Bill or Hilary, but Hil's meaner), Sug Knight (so long as you don't mind the bodies buried along the tracks). These are the people who could get the job done.

9:30 PM

Blogger Nyssa23 said...

Laughed at "bodies buried along the tracks," felt a little guilty afterwards. You're probably right, Odo. Guess I can't take another job in LA unless I want to spend 4 hours a day waiting for trains or hoping the homeless guy doesn't sit in front of me on the bus.

8:33 AM


Post a Comment

<< Home