Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Monday, July 03, 2006

JetSetting: 5.09

So you know how I do. Here's what I've been doing: Jetsetting. So I guess, here's how I jetset.

Yes, it's now a verb. And yes, you don't need to hypenate it.

Well, according to me, anyway. Yeah, I jetset. I'm THAT relentlessly cool now.

It's like Joss Stone was singing to me: I got jetlag, and I never even left the ground / So hungover, and I never even touched a drop.

Anyhoo, that's why the posting's been light lately. In the past, say, 30 days, I have literally been in four different countries: Canada (Vancouver), Great Britain (London), Italy (yes!), and New York City.

Okay, yeah, NYC isn't (technically) a foreign country. But dude...I'm all LA now, so it might as well be. What's weird is that I never imagined I'd be traveling so much as a Ho'wooder, especially in business and first class. But take the perks where you can get 'em, I say.

Here are some other jetsetter observations from my travels:

-Alitalia is the worst foreign airline. It never flies on time, baggage is usually late, their lines are huge and don't move, and security is so lax it's a bit scary. The Italians just can't seem to be bothered with checking bags and such. That said, Italy is an all-around awesome place in nearly every other respect.

-Delta is the worst domestic carrier. I actually flew LA-NYC in first class (aka-BusinessElite): the seats were tattered and didn't recline more than they do in coach, there weren't any power outlets, the food was inedible, the JFK lounge had no Wifi, the crappy movie played on a distractingly large big screen, and overall it just sucked. I will say that Delta is a bit less bad for international flights.

-Vancouver is fantastic. It's gorgeous, clean, the people are surprisingly friendly, the weather wasn't as rainy as I expected, and the coffeehouses seemed even hipper than Seattle's. If LA falls into the ocean, I'm moving to Vancouver.

-With all due respect to the London Cokehead, I found London to be the crappiest of the cities I visited in my travels. It's incredibly expensive (stupid American dollar), surprisingly unpicturesque, quite dirty, kinda hard to get around in (though the trains did run on time- perhaps the apocalypse ISN'T nigh after all), and I nearly starved to death. Thank God sushi has gone international.

-The British assistants worked very hard to puncture the stereotype I had of hard-working, efficient, polite British people. Seriously, they were harder to work with than the Italians-- and they weren't nearly as nice or charming. . . or hot. . .or stylish. . . or chill, you know? (sigh...it's tough being 25 and inevitably hip) Shape up or ship out, chaps.

-Is it just me, or does New York smell worse and worse each summer? Comment away, NYC. Word.

-The Stewardesses were unfortunately not hot. Like, at all. Throughout the world. Yeah, I know. It does suck. I read somewhere once that on vacation, men like to sleep with any piece of hot a$$ available, including stewardesses and waitresses, while women prefer men who teach them to surf or ski, etc. Which I guess fits prevailing gender stereotypes, but also makes some sense.


Thanks to PimpWiz for kindly letting me leech off their images.

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10 Comments:

Anonymous Nicholas J. Robinson said...

Fly into Philly on U.S. Air. You have not had a shit airline experience until you have done that. Trust me.

Anyway, great blog. As a soon to be Hollwooder it's great to read this. Thanks for the good reads and I'll probably see you out there.

Oh and I have never seen a hot stewardess in my life. I am pretty sure its a myth. At least you had the free first class booze.

7:30 PM

 
Blogger Peggy Archer said...

Alitalia's got the best food, though - or had, the last time I did a lot of flying.

Best airline schedule-wise? Lufthansa. They are NEVER late.

Friendliest staff? Quantas.

Best planes? Virgin.

IME, ALL domestic carriers suck ass.

Glad to see you're still with us.

8:56 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Speaking of Qantas, they have hot stewardesses.

Mmmm

- A

11:48 AM

 
Anonymous Tiffany said...

London you need to spend more time in to like it. My first trip there wasn't that great either. There aren't a lot of hot flight attendants. I don't like Delta either cuz the first and last flight I took was on the oldest/grossest plane I've ever been on. Virgin is pretty cool. I also like British Airways and Air France. Air France has good food in economy.

9:27 PM

 
Blogger london cokehead said...

You just need to know where to go mate. The best places in London are nowhere near the City centre, that's just a grimmey commercial tourist trap.

1:19 PM

 
Blogger Violence Jack said...

We Vancouverites are polite, but not always nice. I for one am a mean bastard, but am usually polite about it.

Maybe I'm just lucky, but I do see a lot of hot stewardesses when I fly. Maybe it's just 'cause I'm married and therefor unavailable (and I usually fly with my wife), and I'm married so I'm not getting any, so anything looks good to me now.

3:30 PM

 
Blogger queenofattolia said...

Second London Cokehead's comment - you have to see London with a local. Yeah, the exchange rate sucks, but London is fab if you know where to go. And eat, and shop, and drink and just generally hang out.

11:36 PM

 
Blogger Sal said...

tourist London is crap, everyone knows that. Offbeat london is cool, and as your previous commenters said, you need to know a local (just as when I was in LA, if I hadn't known a local I would've been totally lost)

My favourite transatlantic airlines - BA, Air Canada; best worldwide - Emirates, Singapore (although lots of people rate Quantas too - I never flew with them yet)

2:43 PM

 
Anonymous Christian Gulliksen said...

I'm coming to this conversation about a year late, but...

I pretty much agree with Peggy.

The cabins on Delta are unbelievably ratty. (And American carriers in general -- I avoid them if at all possible.) Delta partner Air France not a vast improvement, although the food's better.

Lufthansa nice and most cabins have business class seats that recline completed, but they've lost my luggage FOUR times in the last year -- and one trip I didn't get it back until I returned to the States. (And -- the obvious question -- no, I can't usually fit everything in a carry-on.)

I wasn't impressed by Emirates business -- seats don't recline all that much, entertainment limited, appalling service on a flight from Dubai to New York.

Pick of the bunch is Virgin Atlantic. Hot flight attendants, good entertainment, great seats/beds, interesting menu, youthful vibe.

I've also seen plenty of attractive flight attendants on KLM, Air New Zealand and Icelandair.

Domestically, I like JetBlue.

11:40 PM

 
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3:09 AM

 

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