Season Premiere Season: 3.25

It's that most lovely of times for the television-watcher: the season when everything old is new again, and when tv development executives surrender to us, the viewers, their precious, precious babies.

Prison Break. Brett Ratner. 'Nuf said. Next.

Reunion=crap. Next.

Fox's new series Bones has amazing production values, thanks in no small part to this woman, but I think the overall premise is just a little weak. David Boreanaz is still pretty cool, but I was kinda undecided on the lead actress. The writing is leaden in places, but very crisp in others. I'm ending up kinda ambivalent on this one. If you want a CSI-knockoff that has cool holographs and stronger characters than a CSI knockoff, then Bones is a good show for you. But it's not a must-see.

Not Angel, Bones.

The WB's Supernatural won't be a hit* for several reasons:
1) Downlowlita said: "For the first three minutes, I was like 'This sh*t is cool'. After six minutes, I was like 'I hate teen audiences.' And I stopped watching after ten minutes."
2) A girl at work said: "Is that Dean from Gilmore Girls?" After a reply in the affirmative, she said: "Eck, Dean. I hated Dean."
3) The roomie said: "How can you have a sci-fi show without at least one hot chick? Lost's got like, four. I'm not watching a show about a family of vapid pretty boys battling 'the supernatural'." [ed note- on that last part, the roomie emphasized his sarcasm with air quotes accompanying 'the supernatural']

*It better not be, because I've been being very good lately and karma better not bring up some old sh*t I've done and punish me by rewarding the Global Frequency's denier with hit status.

Also failing on the WB should be "Just Legal", which has most of the premise of "Doogie Howser, MD", and none of the charm. And it has Don Johnson-- not in a pastel-colored suit. Big mistake.

Nip/Tuck will either be the best show on television or it will jump the shark. Either way, I'm watching the entire season. Premieres tonight on F/X. Check your local listings.

Desperate Housewives has good at least another year of good water-cooler buzz behind it. Plus, Marc Cherry's got some tricks up his sleeves. Trust me on Desperate Housewives.
Eva=Diva.

Survivor is still going strong, and they kicked off with the most intense opener I've ever seen-- a gruelling eleven-mile trek over two days in the jungle. And they get to live in Mayan ruins! How sweet is that? [although, personally, um, Guatemala, are we sure that letting a tv show film all over precious historical artifacts is a good idea? yeah, I know you need the tourist revenue, but seriously, Survivor?]

Lost will continue to make you go: "Oh my God, that was crazy! Wait, what just happened?" And it will make you watch every week for your JJ Abrams crack. Because Sydney Bristow can no longer smoke crack thanks to her pregnancy.

Who needs Martha Stewart's Apprentice when the catfighting on Desperate Housewives will probably be much funnier?

I forgot how hot the cast of Grey's Anatomy is. Other than that, I'm surprisingly ambivalent about what happens to them.

Censorship-free HBO and Showtime chip in with the fascinating drama-with-a-capital-D "Rome" and the buzzworthy "Weeds" featuring MILFylicious Mary-Louise Parker. Both deserve renewal: Rome already has it, for sure. I hope "Weeds" gets picked up because really, it's Showtime's best/only show not mostly about gay and lesbian people.

Despite its noxious overadvertisement, I think I might just like "My Name Is Earl". But probably not, just to f*ck with NBC. I wanna see Jeff Zucker publicly castrated by a blunt-machete-wielding Les Moonves. Sorry, Jason.

UPN may have renewed Veronica Mars, but they put it up against Lost. Argh. Looks like the roomie is going to be doing a lot of downloading. But if you're not into Lost and want a cool detective-noir-does-high-school with an awesomely hot Kristen Bell, then you should check it out.

Does Commander-in-Chief seem like a silly premise to anyone else? I mean, okay, Geena Davis is President. So? The West Wing already has a lock on good modern political drama so what do we need this show for? Maybe Hollywood is trying to pave the way for Hillary 2008?

Shows that seem too boring for me to even make fun of: E-Ring, Related, Criminal Minds, Sex, Love & Secrets and. . .I'm already yawning. Are the commercials over yet?