Why Wonkette Rules: 6.14

I hate politics.

I really do.

I talk about it/them a lot, but only because I have to. Because politics, like media, is intimately tied to almost every important idea in 21st century America/Amurika.

So that sux.

If you haven't heard of it, Wonkette.com is a satirical website about politics that used to be a part of the Gawker Empire. But like many great ideas in Hollywood, they were spun off.

One its defining memes of late has been TruckNutz, which Hollywooders who've been around for awhile will remember as a meme from a certain script readers' website.

But Wonkette's importance extends far beyond memes. It is part of a new breed of media that makes the horrific, gruesome business of politics more palatable. And the only way that that can be accomplished is through absurdist mockery. Because yes, we have descended that far.

I mean, what do you expect? Culture has supposedly been declining since at least culture began, so it can't be that much of a surprise.

I mean, really, look at how much I smoke.

The only sane reaction to a politics that subverts every ideal, that corrupts every policy, that breeds cynicism and apathy, is wholesale rejection. And what better way to do that than with snarky sarcasm?

Like always, I don't have any financial (or any other) interest in seeing them succeed beyond wanting the awesomely funny to succeed.

So as always I urge you, Angelenos, reject reality by being that person who reads books (and a few good blogs).

Support Hillary and Work in Media? You're a Traitor: 6:06

I apologize for the provocative title, but I had to get your attention, didn't I?

Because this Hollywood assistant has something to say about politics.

My generation isn't supposed to be into politics because....why again? I've forgotten if there are any other excuses for young people not being engaged besides apathy...

Are there any more excuses? With us youngins being into the interwebs and being all connected and shizznit. We know the score. Lauryn Hill told us.

So this goes out to all the media folk...I urge you to do something you don't normally do-- to remember the past to change the future.

Remember when Hillary, pre-9/11, tilted at videogame and Hollywood violence windmills?
She did.

And it brought the heat down, and certainly delayed the recognition of videogames as both art and a desireable high-tech industry.

Of course, like a lot of her policies, it was a lot of hot air and relatively little action.

Even hubby Bill dissed the admittedly left-wing Sistah Souljah to distance himself from the left wing. The Clintons know how to exploit the fear of Hollywood to win votes in the Heartland.

And in these times when we know the government listens to everything anyway, that's going to have a horribly chilling effect on us media drones who are already afraid to do anything that might get us in trouble with our corporate masters.

Plus, it's pretty much a given these days that people vote for whichever candidate they'd want to have a beer with. Seriously, think back. It goes back to at least the 50s. Think about it.

Do you want to get a beer with Hillary Rodham Clinton? Does anyone?

Here's the thing: I'm afraid the Republicans might somehow win with Giuliani or Law & Order's Fred Thompson. And that would be a catastrophe. But Hillary is just divisive enough to make it happen.

Would you rather get a beer with Rudy Giuliani or Hillary Rodham Clinton? Hillary or Fred Thompson, who seems like he would get kinda drunk and start telling awesomely hilarious dirty stories?

I think he would.

But who doesn't want to have a beer with their new black friend, President Barack Obama? No one. Unless they're racist. And that's only like a third of the voting age population nowadays.

Plus, now would be a good time for a constitutional law professor to take over, what with the complete disregard for the law this Bush administration has embodied? And Hill's not exactly been one to follow the letter of the law herself. Whitewater, anyone?

And Obama's got experience-- as a humble state senator for 8 years, before being a Senator for a couple, plus the whole constitutional law professor, editor of the Harvard Law Review, and community organizer in Chicago for 3 years thing(s).

And it's about effing time we gave a black man a go at the presidency. Besides it being time, just think of how that could restore our dreams a little, and the world's in us even more. And we could use that...a lot.

Also, Barack Obama is part Kansan. And we all know Jesus was a Kansan. At least, that was the slogan of a friend of mine who is dead now. She was awesome while she was around. She'd be an Obama girl, I think.

And finally, media peeps, I think even those of us who find ourselves working for Fox would find it amusing that a show on that network, run by right-winger Joel Surnow no less, could pave the way for a black President so effectively.


Above, future American President Barack Hussein Obama....wait, his middle name is Hussein? We'll even have Arab street cred!

And yes, Senator Obama, that does mean you have to send a thank-you note to Dennis Haysbert. But not to Joel Surnow, unless you're feeling generous.

Oh, and why don't I support John Edwards? Why the seemingly automatic allegiance to Obama?

Besides the proven facts indicating Obama is awesome, it's because Edwards is a douche who gets $400 haircuts.

Putting the Fun(bags) Back Into Politics: 6.05

Still working on the new job...more on that soon...until then, this...

A friend and I got to talking about politics last night and we both kinda surprised to remember that YouTube didn't even exist during the last presidential election. Funny how everyday online video has become.

Anyway, a number of interesting political videos has appeared online, including Obama's "Vote Different/Hillary=1984" video, "Rudy Giuliani - Not a Mormon", and Hillary's Sopranos spoof.

But by far the best trend in election videos? Hot girls.

By now, you've probably at least vaguely heard of Obama Girl, the comely lass with a serviceable voice (not hers) who gained fame (3 million+ youtube views alone) with the surprisingly entertaining online music video "I've Got a Crush [on Obama]".

It's a standard R&B love song about Barack Obama, dressed up with some snappy political references and oddball humor (the Obama pics get overdone, methinks).
Have no idea what I'm writing about?
Watch her video:



And that sparked a "Giuliani Girl" parody of course.

Hillary got "Hott for Hill" which shamelessly utilizes children to spread its message of Hillary being hot...as a candidate, or something.

And then along came the creepily hilarious "Kucinich Girl":


Even Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback got some video girl love.

And then came certainly the greatest achievement in online political video to date:



What's not to love about this? Credit goes to BarelyPolitical.com for the production.

It's hot girls shaking it while having a lyrical throwdown and then having a pillowfight. With, like, politics and stuff, too.

But frankly, if democracy was just hot girls shaking it in a dance contest, followed by a fierce pillowfight, I think we could manage at least 90% voter turnout among young (hetero) males.

All hail the future of democracy!