Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Not Abusing Interns: 5.17

I've been called the patron blogging saint of Hollywoood assistants, a title which I do my best to fulfill. But after a conversation with my little brother, I've decided that interns don't deserve abuse any more than assistants do. Therefore, I've decided to do my Internet tirade best to stick up for them, too.

Because darn it if they aren't just the cutest things, with their bright ambitions and high hopes and sense of wonder. God bless 'em.

But as the bro and I will both attest, interns can easily be abused. You see, the critical difference between interns and assistants is that interns aren't paid. At least, not well. And in Hollywood, only rarely. Therefore, they should be treated very differently.

If it's part of the job, it's part of the job.
If it's unpaid, f--- it.

Do we see the difference, my friends? Plus, interns are always bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and usually not as stupid as Bubbles and they try to help out. So it's best not to abuse them.

Remember, this abuse can take many forms. Most often, it's a constant shoveling of the bitchiest of biyotch work onto their plates. Frankly, while this may seem appropriate for an intern's supposed skill level, it's actually not. Interns are there to learn. . . and usually filing and photocopying aren't conducive to serious learning. Unless you're preparing for an exciting career in data entry.

So give your interns actual pretend work. And by this, I mean: let them make some calls. Because these kids actually get excited when some assistant tells them Mr. Big-Boss-So-And-So will call back. Even if he won't. But the bright-eyed don't care. They can get by with the illusion. . . and that's mostly not true anymore for us assistants.

So God bless the kids and keep 'em safe.

And remember, just because you're an assistant, that doesn't make you better than an intern. Yeah, you get paid and they don't. But you're both still considered less than the toilet paper on Hollywood's Ugg.

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i totally agree...some asst. chick at my company actaully fired her interns...she FIRED two interns! how insane and evil is that?!!!

3:54 PM

 
Blogger anotherhollywooder said...

I actually feel bad for assistants, we get the bullshit work, but you have to deal with the boss. Example: The exec was overseas overseeing (pun!) a production and was on his way back. At 2 AM on Saturday my boss (his assistant) gets a call, saying that something went wrong with the tickets and he needs her to fix it. I pick up the phone on Monday morning to hear his wife (who was visiting him) yelling at me to fix the problem with the "god damn limo service, and get a refund on the whole trip." I politely asked her to hold one minute (probably the wrong move, but I didn't know what to say...) and immediately transferred it to my boss. She got yelled at for a good 5 minutes, and when she tried to reason and tell his wife to be patient she got yelled at some more. I would be one pissed off SOB if I got called at 2 AM on a Saturday to take care of a problem for my boss. Because I woudl likely be wasted, I would probably call him out on his inability to handle his own fucking problems and then proceed to get fired. Oh well I'm sure I'll be in that position one day .

I'll tell you this though, once I'm an exec, I am treating my assistants nicely.

11:11 PM

 
Blogger queenofattolia said...

Thank you for this. My 21-year-old nephew just got a job as a casting intern on a major network drama, and while he's thrilled and eager and ready to do anything, I can see how he'd get disillusioned quickly if all he does is shuffle around headshots all day. He's a smart kid and he can do a lot more if they'll let him.

5:42 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"some asst. chick at my company actaully fired her interns...she FIRED two interns"

wait a minute... "your company" wouldn't happen to be a certain agency would it...hmmm...

2:15 PM

 

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