On Hiring Hollywood Assistants, Flamers Edition: 6.13

Most offices go through assistants like Kleenex in Hollywood, and ours is no exception. So we're almost constantly hiring, it seems.

I told you a bit about that process previously.

Today, our office manager (let's call her Jeanette) and my friend/immediate supervisor (Sarah) interviewed this dude we'll call Richard Simmons.

Now to get right to the point, let's just say that Richard was (and is) what you might call a 'flaming.'

Look I'm obviously gay-friendly. Maybe even super-gay-friendly.

But I'm telling you, I met him for just 10 seconds and I think it's probably an objective fact: dude was REALLY gay. (hence the pseudonym, Richard Simmons)

Now I was under the impression that my co-workers were super gay-friendly. Both Sarah and Jeanette said they would "love to have a gay in the office."

But they just weren't sure about Richard Simmons.

Jeanette maintained that his voice would get annoying hour after hour, though Sarah maintained we'd sound "progressive" with his voice answering our phones.

Jeanette didn't think the Big Boss would like him. Sarah pointed out that the Big Boss, a standard-issue alpha male who needs to dominate his tribe of employees, wouldn't be threatened by him.

Jeanette just couldn't see him fitting in. Sarah, sadly, didn't have a good response.

My protestations that he should have a chance if he was the best-qualified person we could find fell on deaf ears. As my protestations generally do. After all, they said, his voice, demeanor and personality are all part of the qualifications, right?

But this guy basically didn't get hired, not because he's gay, but because he was flamingly gay.

It makes you wonder ... did the stereotype of gay men as hairdressers and interior designers happen because they're just 'naturally good' at that sort of thing? Or did that Plymouth Rock of gay jobs land on them?

I'm Proud To Be Gayer Than Most: 6.07

On this national day of coming out, I would like to announce that I am proud to be gayer than most heterosexual twentysomething males.

Because the simple fact is, gay people are awesome.

As a Hollywood assistant, I know that they are at least three to four times as awesome on average than your stereotypical straight guy.

Why? I don't know exactly.

But really, do we ask why the sky is blue?

Usually, when I get the gay implication comment, and I ask why, it's often to do with my apparently admirable haircut, clothing choices, good grooming habits, natural-looking tan (it is, btw), intelligence, manners, or even just general advice.


Look, it's Hollywood, gay is in the air.

So I'm saying, support ENDA, and support the transgenda', too. It's good for you. Because you see, the gays will do you good. They will make your life better.

And let's just let people get gay married, shall we? What's the worst that could happen? Weddings could get less tasteful, shorter, weaker, more of an object of reality television mockery?

Seriously, though, what's your beef with the gays?

If it's immorality, then let he who is without sin cast the first vote against them.

America was founded on the principle of separation of church and state. Marriage, unwisely, is integrated into the function of government, instead of being a religious institution. Because if it was solely a religious institution, it wouldn't be a problem. Some religions could recognize that God is cool with gays, and some could be haters.

But it would all be protected by the aegis of freedom of worship. As it stands, the government has gotten involved with tax breaks and adoption and immigration and inheritance privileges and all manner of civil rights.

So those civil rights have to be equal. Because if America's about one thing, it's equality under the law.

Okay, yes, even preachy, young me knows how naive that sentiment is, but hey, I can have a dream, right?

How 'bout this? It SHOULD be equality under the law.

TECHNORATI TAGS: Hollywood, coming out, gay,civil rights, government, reform, discrimination, young people, justice