Clawing to escape the belly of the beast here in Hollywood. To commiserate, email my name assistantatlas at yahoo.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Tight-Face Twins!: 4.34


For whatever reason, Teri Hatcher is so desperate for headlines that she's agreed to become Ryan Seacrest's beard. Now, as much as I like gay people, I think we all know how much I don't like Ryan Seacrest. So for him to be fake-dating the hottest Lois Lane of all time, well, it's upsetting.

I mean, Jesus, Teri, couldn't you find someone not gay to date? I mean, Nicollette Sheridan managed to nab Michael Bolton, who, granted, is Michael Bolton, but still. He's less gay than Seacrest. Let's repeat that for emphasis: Michael Bolton is less gay than Ryan Seacrest. Seriously, look:

To paraphrase Brittany Murphy's character in "Drop Dead Gorgeous": "Ryan's gay, Dad. GAY!" By the way, if you haven't seen "Drop Dead Gorgeous", it's Kirsten Dunst's only non-annoying role.

But back to the Tight-Face Twins. Seriously, I get why Teri might like dating Seacrest. After all, they have a lot in common: they both like shoes, clothes, boys, plastic surgery, and publicity, and perhaps both are haunted by a creeping sense of career desperation. But that doesn't mean they should hire a photographer to take pictures of themselves fake kissing.

Because seriously, that's just wrong:


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15 Comments:

Blogger Dabbler said...

Agree with nearly everything you said in this one, Atlas, but I kinda liked Kiki Dunst in Interview with the Vampire. Hey, I'm just saying.

10:22 AM

 
Anonymous Tiffany said...

You seriously need to have a "Ryan Seacrest Watch" post at least once a month. I mean since Ryan is everywhere now. P.S. Teri was flirting with Ryan back at the Sag Awards. She's had her eye on him!

4:26 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree with you ! but I heard the media saying that Teri is dating Eva Longoria's ex and not Ryan...Is Ryab gay anyway??

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Anonymous Generic Viagra said...

He's a lucky guy! I think they are a good couple... but I don't like this kind of gossips, it's a nasty thing and I wish you can change the style to redact this kind of "news".

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