The Tight-Face Twins!: 4.34
For whatever reason, Teri Hatcher is so desperate for headlines that she's agreed to become Ryan Seacrest's beard. Now, as much as I like gay people, I think we all know how much I don't like Ryan Seacrest. So for him to be fake-dating the hottest Lois Lane of all time, well, it's upsetting.
I mean, Jesus, Teri, couldn't you find someone not gay to date? I mean, Nicollette Sheridan managed to nab Michael Bolton, who, granted, is Michael Bolton, but still. He's less gay than Seacrest. Let's repeat that for emphasis: Michael Bolton is less gay than Ryan Seacrest. Seriously, look:
To paraphrase Brittany Murphy's character in "Drop Dead Gorgeous": "Ryan's gay, Dad. GAY!" By the way, if you haven't seen "Drop Dead Gorgeous", it's Kirsten Dunst's only non-annoying role.
But back to the Tight-Face Twins. Seriously, I get why Teri might like dating Seacrest. After all, they have a lot in common: they both like shoes, clothes, boys, plastic surgery, and publicity, and perhaps both are haunted by a creeping sense of career desperation. But that doesn't mean they should hire a photographer to take pictures of themselves fake kissing.
Because seriously, that's just wrong:
TECHNORATI TAGS: Ryan Seacrest, Teri Hatcher, Beard, Gay