Oh God, Please No, It's American Idol Time Again: 4.15

This stupid, shite-eating, gay-monkey-humper is invading your living room again. Yes, America, it's Ryan "Poopypants" Seacrest, and he's back with the heavily-medicated Paula Abdul, dang-man-his-weight-yo-yos-more-than-Oprah's Randy Jackson, and a man after my own snarky (read: black and festering) heart, Simon Cowell. Oh yes, it's American Idol time again. F&ck. Every year, I tell myself it's a moronic waste of my time. And then I'll be pulled right in.

I always end up falling in love with a contestant or two (Nadia Turner, anyone?) who is inevitably voted off around the sixth week while a whole bunch of pretty boys with cruddy voices make the cut thanks to teenage girls.

But this year will be different. This year, I'm going to studiously ignore it. I'll just avoid it. . .

Wait--what?

I just found out Famke likes it. Perfect.

"American Idol" debuts tonight at 8:00pm on Fox. Please, watch "Gilmore Girls" instead.

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